belle::position::amour -- the third incarnation

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At our Family Meeting last evening, held in the Haddock Clan's rendition of the Knoppenburg Manor* Stables, we voted to repost belle::position::amour for a third year, despite a barrage of online petitions from Change.org calling for its removal.

Although we've signed a fair number of Change.org petitions, usually with their authors breathing down our collective back, a quick Family Canvas showed that, au fond, we do not believe that "empower[ing] anyone, anywhere to start and win campaigns for social change" is altogether desirable.   Oh, put your tongue back in your mouth.

Mostly, though, the Family reasoned that keeping belle::position::amour might be the only way to remain statistically relevant in the blogosphere, since we continue to receive a good number of daily visits from searchers in politically and socially repressive countries, searching for the best ways to get it on.

Call it part of our Liberal Bias, call it What You Will, belle::position::amour is the star
 of our Outreach Program for Excellence.  Well, okay, it is second only to XXX Porn -- about which, surprisingly, we've received nary a petition.

* Knoppenburg Manor is, in fact, for sale. Sad that one of its key selling points is that this area of Belgium has "remained free
 from the threat of terrorist attacks." Our stable replica -- or "agricultural outbuilding" -- is a lovely place in which to relax, chat, contemplate -- at least on warm days. Built some time in the 16th century, the Manor Knoppenburg's charm is in its 
simplicity and enduring functionality. Make a bid!

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At 3:41 pm this afternoon, a visitor from Qatar dropped by. From far away Doha, Ad Dawhah, this person was steered here by their search engine: google.com.qa.

Like so many who have come before, tongues hanging out, my qatari friend was looking for "belle position amour."

We here at elle est belle la seine la seine elle est belle cannot let such a quizzical, and perhaps painful, cry pass unanswered.

Our first thought was the usual one -- throw the Kama Sutra at it. But really, if someone has resorted to googling sexual positions that are "belles" -- something more immediately accessible might be à propos.



And so the final consensus was to recommend the following:

Sex Deck: Playful Positions to Spice Up Your Love Life

by Dr. Dawn Harper

(Cards)
Buy new: $14.95
SALE @ Amazon: $10.17, Eligible for FREE Super Saver Shipping on orders over $25;
You Save: $4.78 (32%)

[We heartily recommend investing in the NEW, for reasons of basic hygiene.]

Want it delivered Tuesday, October 11? Order it in the next 10 hours and 4 minutes, and choose One-Day Shipping at checkout!

To be honest, we are not familiar with Dr. Harper's book but love the idea of sex positions being put on cards -- very handy. Once you get to Amazon.com to check it out, there will be other books of the same ilk advertised on the page. Our feelings won't be in the least hurt should you choose another guidebook.

However, in the interest of quality control, it would be helpful to this website's management
if you would return to the comment section for this blog post to share
what position did, indeed, turn out to be very, very belle.


[cue music... dim lights...]




Sincerely,

La Bonne et Belle Bianca Castafiore

The Retired Educator

Fred

Sam-I-Am

Marmy

The Dobster

Uncle Kitty Big Balls

(the original signatories)




photo credit 1 -- that's **spooning**, people, **spooning**!
photo credit 2

the monks are deep in GOOG

Thank you, Larry Page.     

Thank you, GOOGLE.

It may just be a fleeting thing, this 12.49% after hours hike... But it will keep Marlinspike Manor's Feline Remnant in kibble for another month.

The monks are deep in GOOG, so we're getting ready to jump the orchard wall so as to get to the Cistercian's Celebratory Mass in time for the Second Quarter Earnings Processional -- the best incense wafting is right there at the beginning.    Abbot Truffatore left a garbled message, saying something about "good times" and breaking open the 2010 beaujolais nouveau... 

I'll probably hang out at the monastery after the party, for Compline. I love that haunting lullaby but hate having to make the return trek to The Manor afterward, all alone.  (I don't want to be caught in the back orchard after dark.  Who would?!) Thank God for air-conditioned tunnels and quiet-loving Postulants as escorts.

"May the almighty Lord grant us a quiet night and a perfect end...

and not let today's gain be sucked up by tomorrow's losses."  AMEN

2011 Japanese Earthquake and Tsunami

Katsushita Hokusai painted the Tsunami wave off Kanagawa in 1829-1833

Absolutely astounding, the pictures coming out of Japan after yesterday's 8.9 quake and subsequent Mother of a Tsunami.

A relatively new project is showcasing its abilities in the midst of this crisis:  Google Crisis Response -- 2011 Japanese Earthquake and Tsunami.  On one page, you've access to most every news vehicle imaginable, from statements by Japan's Prime Minister and his cabinet to train and utility information.

There is even an embeddable tool (can also be added as a Google Gadget)called a Person Finder.  Let me show you:




There is video from CitizenTube (YouTube's News and Politics arm) and a link to NOAA's National Weather Service Pacific Tsunami Warning Center.

Of course, there is interest in the path of the tsunami and the coastal areas of Hawaii and California/Oregon but I am finding the news about that to be very ragged and contradictory.  So... just don't go to the beach, pass on these waves... you can check out the action of those rips tomorrow...  (Most reports say the impact on Hawaii has been minimal.  Even "insignificant.")

Small criticism:  The "Useful Map" link is nonfunctional at the moment.

The last thing I saw on the scrolling actual time news thingy was that oil has now dropped below $100, which, frankly, made me snicker.  So *that* is what it takes!

So blessings to the Japanese people as they emerge from this disaster, blessings to the disaster workers, and may much generosity come from the hearts holding purse strings.  The number of dead in Japan is going to be shocking.

The Personal: Our Last Bastion

I am determined to trump my search engine.

I use Google, and, in general, love Google.  Being an investor, the health and happiness of Google is very important to my own wellbeing, and to that of my household, fond as we all are of shelter and regular meals, as well as to my persnickety creditors, insistent as they are on timely and complete payments. 

The interconnectedness we evidence shall serve as witness to the wondrousness of God's faithful creation!  Or something.

Sorry.  It's Sunday morning and I left the television on during my last nap session, which allowed Joel Osteen and other Smarty-Panted Religious Folk to tiptoe around my brain unsupervised.

Dangerous stuff, leading to weird wakeful convictions, like how Google may well be omnipotent.  Well, at least three-in-one.

It's become nigh*   unto impossible

[*  I suffered one of my usual distractions with the word "nigh," but can report that the most interesting return on my curiousity was learning that the oft-used comparative -- yes, that'd be nigher -- has been in force since the 1400s.  Mysteriously, The Erudite are convinced that there is no etymological relationship between the adjective in its evolved form (near) and that form's comparative, nearer.  Crazy stuff, huh?]

Okay, so it's getting hard to enter any search term without Google cracking wise and "suggesting" it before I finish pecking the letters out.  I fear that, eventually, out of self-defense, the lacunae of my vocabulary will be filled with short words and small expressions.

Challenged at such an elementary level of my ontological being, I am now engaged in a challenge: 

Rather than seeking to be as concise as possible in my search requests, I am now wordy.  Early frustrations have even prompted my wordiness to contain misspellings.  Most of which Holy Google manages to catch.  And for which, frequently, feigning indifference, Godly Google suggests corrections!  Oy.

I can't be the only one to have noticed that The Personal has assumed a position of prominence in the face of technology.  We litter Facebook with our particulars, we stick our tongues out (nyah, nyah, na-na-na!), we're united in false friendships based on homonyms -- we rape proper nouns, forcing our intimate meanings upon them.  I tell Facebook to find my friend Joe Smith*   and what tops the list of "over 500" that it returns is one Joel-with-a-middle-initial, because this person is a mutual friend of someone completely unknown to me.

*  The first haphazard Joe Smith, as I know no actual Joe Smith, is represented by a photo of a person, face hooded and mostly blocked.  Blocked by a big handgun from Winston-Salem, North Carolina, the barrel of which is trained on all 1854 of its closest friends.  [All of which goes to support my ongoing suspicions about persons from that state.  See my editorial reflections introducing the blog post Shawnna's Con.]

The Personal is bound to become our Good News, bound to eventually so muck up the informational machinery that even Google's error rate at reading our minds will skyrocket.  My Mother's maiden name?  Your last four?  Her favorite erotica?  Joel-with-a-middle-initial's preferred handgun?  * Aunt Eugenia's taste in college roomies?

*  We hear this as we wake: Ah! je ris de me voir si belle en ce miroir.
We hear this as we fall asleep: Ah! je ris de me voir si belle en ce miroir.

The Personal, The Last Bastion!  I wanted to clue you in, Dearest Readers, to the Upcoming Paradigm
Shift.

Of course, the Upcoming Paradigm Shift will be delayed a few days.  Don't expect much in the way of movement from The People's Brigade before Thursday, October 14, 2010 -- when Google makes its earnings announcement.  We're thinking there should be a few days' allowance for additional fluctuations in the market, as well.

You and Your Breasts

Yoo hoo! Over here, over here!

You probably know this already. I didn't.

I was cruising around over at YouTube, watching very sober, intellectual-type videos that all involved, for some inexplicable reason, seriously cute kittens (my preferred sort of Talking Head: The Feline Pundit).

Then it happened. It happens a few times a day. For someone like me? That means daily surprise...

Directed-at-me advertising (also known as: targeted, customer-directed marketing).

I hate it. Rather than broadening my horizons, these ads do nothing but remind me of restrictions, limitations, foreshortening -- "the effect of perspective causes distortion." Do I want to be reminded that my browsing choices reflect an intense interest in things like low carb snack foods, veterinary anesthetics, neurological disease, Indonesian wedding cake decorating, kitty litter (and other human-oriented bowel regimens)?

In addition to holding the key to my personal financial future, Google just plain impresses me, which is, of course, why it remains my favorite bit of equity.

Anyway, I saw a link that I'd never noticed before that took me gently by the puffy hand and led me to: YouTube Interest-based Advertising and You.

This reminds me of one of The Fredster's favorite Early Job stories. He was working as an engineer for a smarmy doctor, T.R. Shantha, M.D., who owned a collection of rental properties and motels. (This guy was -- rather belatedly -- convicted of medical fraud just two years ago. He did things like infuse patients with hydrogen peroxide. His clinic laid claim to "safe and effective, nontoxic, scientifically-based alternative” medicine that could “cure or control most cancer and other chronic disease.") Shantha was incredibly money-hungry*. He authored several erudite monographs, of which Fred retains one exceedingly rare copy that we hope to be able to cash in for a small fortune some future rainy day: You and Your Breasts.

Until that time, it will remain one of our most consulted works of reference.

(Choo! Choo? Have you seen my train of thought?)

Back to YouTube. The next click led me to Google Ads Preferences which, in turn, led me through the steps necessary to opt out of interest-based advertising!

Then, loving my readership as I do, I rushed "here" to tell youse guys about it in my usual, straight-up, clear-as-crystal way.

If you are bugged by ads purporting to represent your burning interests, this is one way to blend back into the tepid sea of anonymity.

*Umm, Fred quit when approached to burn out a family behind in their rent. Not in the job description. (Not to worry, My Guy did the right thing...)

For Today, At Least: Thank you, Google; Thank you, Milliken

At this moment -- 7:21 pm on Thursday, 16 October -- GOOG sits at 390 in after-hours trading. I am profoundly grateful that my inability to make a decision has not been met, for today, at least, with disaster.

I am also amazed at the antimicrobial silver dressing, specifically SelectSilver by Milliken, which is wicking, at an unbelievable rate, unwanted swampy microbes from a bad foot ulcer. It remains to be seen if it will bring healing or not but it is, without doubt, another very nifty gift to medicine from industry.

And so it is that I pray Google will hold its value, and maybe even hit the yearly target of my dreams, thereby paying for all the antimicrobial silver dressings by Milliken that I will have to use in the coming weeks and months.

Of these small, odd things I sing.