I just had sex and it felt so good (Felt so good)

I think, now that I am sick of McConnelling, that this is the perfect one.  Of course, what would be perfect, po-li-tic-all-y, involves the Secret Service turning up at my door.  With some sort of award cast in pure gold.  Hefty, really weighty.  Then they could give me a lift to the nearest pawn shop, stand guard while I traded in my voluminous meritorious medal or huge trophy for cold, diminishing cash.  Each Secret Service agent would receive, as is proper, a generous gratuity.  Spread wealth, Friends, spread wealth.

Yes.
Well.
Anyway.

Here's #McConnelling to The Lonely Island's super-crafted tune "I Just Had Sex":

Sometimes somethin' beautiful happens

In this world

You don't know how to express yourself

So you just gotta sing

I just had sex and it felt so good

(Felt so good)

A woman let me put my penis inside of her

I just had sex and I'll never go back

(Never go back)

To the not-having-sex ways of the past

Have you ever had sex? I have, it felt great

It felt so good when I did it with my penis

A girl let me do it, it literally just happened

Havin' sex can make a nice man out the meanest

Never guess where I just came from, I had sex

If I had to describe the feeling, it was the best

When I had the sex, man, my penis felt great

And I called my parents right after I was done

Oh, hey, didn't see you there, guess what I just did?

Had sex undressed, saw her boobies and the rest

Was sure nice of her to let you do that thing

Nice of any girl ever, now sing

I just had sex and it felt so good

(Felt so good)

A woman let me put my penis inside of her

I want to tell the world

To be honest, I'm surprised she even wanted me to do it

Doesn't even really make sense, but, man, screw it

I ain't one to argue with a good thing, she could be my wife

That good? The best thirty seconds of my life

I'm so humbled by a girl's ability to let me do her

'Cause honestly, I'd have sex with a pile of manure

With that in mind, a soft, nice-smellin' girl's better

Plus, she let me wear my chain and my turtle-neck sweater

So this one's dedicated to them girls

That let us flop around on top of them

If you're near or far, whether short or tall

We want to thank you all for letting us fuck you

She kept lookin' at her watch

(Doesn't matter, had sex)

But I cried the whole time

(Doesn't matter, had sex)

I think she might've been a racist

(Doesn't matter, had sex)

She put a bag on my head

(Still counts)

I just had sex and my dreams came true

(Dreams came true)

So if you had sex in the last thirty minutes

Then you're qualified to sing with me

I just had sex

(Everybody sing)

And it felt so good

(We all had sex)

(Felt so good)

A woman let me put my penis inside of her

(I want to tell the world)

I just had sex and I'll never go back

(No, no, no)

To the not-having-sex ways of the past

Songwriters

Bettis, Jerrod / Franks, Justin / Schaffer, Akiva / Samberg, Andrew / Taccone, Jorma

McConnelling: The Current Top Four

Viral Video Turns Senator Into a Silent Comedy Star
By ASHLEY PARKER MARCH 16, 2014, NYTimes

WASHINGTON — When Senator Mitch McConnell’s re-election campaign released two-and-a-half minutes of video footage featuring him wordlessly smiling, it was most likely hoping to provide a friendly “super PAC’ with high-quality images of Mr. McConnell to use in ads. 

Instead, the campaign got a viral video sensation that exploded on the Internet last week, and even spawned its own term — “McConnelling.” 

The phenomenon started on Tuesday when the campaign put out a web video filled with genial images of Mr. McConnell, the Kentucky Republican and minority leader: Mr. McConnell smiling at the camera; Mr. McConnell smiling at his wife; Mr. McConnell walking with voters and, of course, smiling. 

Because campaigns are legally prohibited from coordinating with super PACs, they are increasingly publishing what is known as B-roll footage of their candidates, which is available for public consumption, including for use by friendly outside groups. But in the age of memes and GIFs and viral videos, the McConnell web ad proved to be yet another cautionary or quirky tale (depending on one’s perspective) of what can happen when the online world decides to subvert even the most carefully crafted of messages. 

Mr. McConnell is perhaps known as much for his dour and jowly appearance as for his political acumen — one campaign ad recently compared his visage to that of a turtle — and the Internet rallied to make him an online star. Videos that edited his smiling face into famous sitcoms from the 1980s and 1990s began popping up, with Mr. McConnell making cameos in the opening credits of everything from “The Cosby Show” to “Full House” to “Who’s the Boss?” (In “Full House,” the credits helpfully explain that Mr. McConnell will be appearing as “Uncle Mitchy.”) 

“The video may have become the laughingstock of the Internet, but it does do an adequate job of highlighting why so few Kentuckians have any personal affinity toward McConnell,” said Matt Canter, a spokesman for the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee. “His awkwardness and out-of-touch demeanor comes shining through.” [Read the rest of the story HERE]