I Spy

Books by the bed:
No Country for Old Men by Cormac McCarthy
Body of Knowledge by Steve Giegerich
The Deep End of the Ocean* by Jacquelyn Mitchard
The Gargoyle by Andrew Davidson
The Thurber Carnival by James Thurber
same kind of different as me by Ron Hall and Denver Moore
Lettres Persanes by Montesquieu
Cranford by Elizabeth Gaskell

*Already read. Note to self: Move to bookcase.

Magazines by the bed:
4 issues of Rolling Stone
2 issues of The New Yorker
1 Newsweek**

**Stolen from the Infectious Disease doctor's office. Now torn, in no condition to be returned. For shame.

Lotions at bedside:
Gold Bond Medicated Body Lotion
Pond's Dry Skin Cream
Crabtree & Evelyn Nantucket Briar Scented Body Lotion***
Bath & Body Works Moonlight Path Body Lotion

***Fred will not stay in same room with me if I use this. Comes in handy.

Items in metal star-shaped basket at bedside:
1 Non-functional remote control
3 bottles of Lumigan (1 opened, 2 still in box)
1 pair prescription dark glasses
1 tube Original Super Glue
1 pair prescription glasses, used "for parts"
2 rolls 3M Durapore 1.5 inch silk tape
1 Timex "heart monitor" wristwatch
1 promotional tape measure from David Jorgenson
1 emery board
2 balls of cotton
1 broken MP3 player
2 .1 fluid ounce bottles of Optive
1 key lock from Ace
2 AAA Energizer batteries
2 AAA Duracell Ultra batteries
2 lockets, one of which contains a 7.5 mg Endocet
1 Motorola Talkabout T6200 radio
3 woven bracelets, bought as fundraiser for Christian community of women in VietNam
7 Diphenhydramine Hydrochloride 25 mg capsules
1 Miacalcin Nasal Spray
1 Picture Hanger, "gift from your framer"
3 8 mg tablets of Zofran
2 book marks, cat pictures with 2009 calendars on back
3 pairs of ear buds
1 hair brush
6 lengths of stretchy cloth used to protect PICC line doojobies
3 paint brushes
1 tweezer
1 pair nail clipper
6 quarters
2 dimes
3 nickels
37 pennies
1 Regular Flavor Lip Balm
1 Week 4 35 mg Actonel, discolored
The earring I have been looking for****

****Beautiful gold earrings, gift from my best friend, memento of her trip home to Iran about a decade ago. She wrote me this week to say that she will be declaring bankruptcy -- she who is the most generous and hard-working person I know. I cannot wear the earrings right now -- cannot manipulate well enough yet.

The Ten Memos On My Palm (memo titles)
1. Teresa Smith
2. So-and-so's annual gift
3. CRPS/RSD Treatment Center
4. When is Lale's birthday?
5. DRUG LIST
6. John Sparrow
7. Call Mc. to schedule
8. Dr. B. 3/23/09
9. Call S. re: cymbalta
10. Zyvox

If I crane my head, what I can see of the Dining Room:
1 mission style dining room table
2 chairs
1 oak and hickory rocker, Amish
1 cat, Dobby
2 book cases full of cookbooks

Aromas in the air
2 large pizza pieces reheated in microwave, loaded
whiff of italian roast coffee

CK lab value, just called in by Infectious Disease Nurse, with instructions to stop the i.v. antibiotics:
"over 1,000"

Aroma not in the air, O Hallelujah!
2 large litter boxes, undetectable

Hung on the bedroom walls:
6 framed Rothko prints, of which I can see 4

DVDs that I can see from here:
Lord of the Rings trilogy
First season of Life
3 Neil Young concerts CD/DVD
2 Springsteen concerts CD/DVD
Complete collection of Deadwood
Complete collection SCTV
Complete collection Sports Night
U2, "Under a Blood Red Sky"

Visible VHS tapes:
3 Northern Exposure episodes
2 episodes of The Andy Griffith Show
2 instructional T'ai Chi tapes

What I can see on Fred's bedside table:
2 Church bulletins
2 bottles of hand sanitizer
1 bottle Saw Palmetto
indeterminate number of grocery store ads
kleenex box
2 pairs of scissors
1 alarm clock/radio
something from State Farm
1 back scratcher
2 pill bottles
1 box latex gloves
2 paperbacks
coffee mug full of pens
1 spray bottle of Biofreeze
2 pairs of reading glasses
Wad of napkins
Tool and electronic catalogs
1 wireless phone
1 wireless phone charger

Entertainment items:

1 television
1 DVR
1 VCR/DVD player

1 very, very small and beloved MP3 player

1 "personal" cd player

Furniture and schtuff:

1 Queen-sized bed
7 regular size bed pillows
2 12" foam bed "wedges"

2 bedside tables

1 computer table

1 metal cart

2 quilts, star patterned

1 fuzzy beloved throw under which I am burrowed, shivering

Commercials I don't understand or that bother me:
"The morning after your birth control fails, you are not alone..." -- Plan B
ExtenZe all-natural male enhancement. "Get bigger. Get wider. Get it now."

Man in the doorway asking if I need anything:
My sweet Fred

(Unfortunately, due to HIPAA -- or HIPPA, if you're WhiteCoat -- I am having to lie about the floor plan of The Manor. I wouldn't want to overwhelm my audience with accurate descriptions of its grandeur. Indeed, if you did not know any better, you might mistake our opulent digs for a tediously normal suburban domicile.)