With Apologies to Jonathan Swift

My brain is not always lame.  Still, I've no recollection of writing this but found it posted under my atrocious Facebook moniker.  Facebook is, itself, atrocious.  I find myself dyspeptic and bilious within minutes of reading through the memes and appropriated mental pablum that piles up there. Had not checked in for several days, and, really, were it not so enmeshed in the rest of the interwebs, and were some of my "friends" not addicted to it, I'd save myself further gastrointestinal distress by firebombing the joint on my way out the back door.

Anyway, on 20 September, I jauntily opined this, and probably followed it up with a demand that people post it on their timelines as proof that they really, really cared about me ("and I already know who won't do it, ya worthless pieces o'poo!"):

CHANNELING JONATHAN SWIFT: I know President Obama follows my timeline closely, as well as Chuck Hagel and the Joint Chiefs. So here's a Modest Proposal, to toss in the policy pressure cooker, Die Anführer:

I concur with the President that we should not [further] sully our pristine hands by aligning the US in *any* way with al-Assad, except through our always precise perception of which "rebel group" of "freedom fighters" truly have the average Syrian's well-being at heart -- and into whose trustworthy, well-trained hands we should deposit many, many weapons, defensive as well as offensive. However... The duly elected President of Syria has proven acumen in counterterroristic submoral militarism that could be exploited to everyone's advantage. He has shown prodigious talent at surgically targeting select populations for termination by gassing, and, even better, a passable plausible deniability in the aftermath. This technique, born of pest control, and which recalls the [never again] money-and-time-saving efficiencies of the Third Reich, would have minimal collateral damages, would secretly thrill the most conservative wings of the western political continuum, and would further cement al-Assad's reputation among his regional compatriots. And there'd be a shitload of dead ISIS / ISIL combattants, including some Brits, "Americans," Canadians, Aussies, and other radicalized wasted youths from beyond the Middle East region.

This entry garnered no "likes" or "LOL"s from the Facebook crowd.

I do have, of course, other equally compelling military and pseudo-diplomatic strategies to share with leaders of the Free World, but heard a rumor this evening about the Turkish army joining the confusion of alliances, and that, my "friends," that will change... everything. I would look for a Syrian regime change in short and overwhelming order.  Maybe I was hallucinating?  If the world is still that to which my eyes open tomorrow, then tomorrow will be soon enough to discover whether I dreamt that development or whether... sigh.  Good night, all.

© 2013 L. Ryan

From Stealing to Flying and Back to the River: "They find freedom being part of the elements"

Something lovely stolen from American Idyll. -- it's hard to just steal one thing.  So a tip of the hat and an index alongside the nose to the proprietor for introducing us to Jesse Hall.  I assume he is the poem's author but am not sure.



One minute poem of the Grand Canyon from Jesse Hall on Vimeo.

From the beginning to the end, 

everything changed. 

They dismounted the surge of prominence, 

and earned a rock-steady heart. 

Thats where their rhythm is found. 

They know the role of a trickle in the creation of a masterpiece. 

They row into the abyss of being, 

adrift in endless time, 

hearing ancient echoes. 

They find freedom being part of the elements, 

traveling to where all worlds merge. 

Life's knowledge drifts down onto them, 

and blows right into their skin.

Now, a wonderful, airy tangent:

Jesse Hall was the "winner of the first season event of the ProBASE World Cup Tour 2011."

BASE jumping is the activity of parachuting from a fixed object as opposed to skydiving, which is parachuting from an aircraft. Fixed objects can be buildings, antennas, smoke stacks, bridges, power towers, cliffs, cable cars, dams or any other object high enough to jump from.The acronym B.A.S.E was coined by Carl Boenish and stands for Building, Antenna, Span, Earth which are the 4 most popular objects BASE jumpers practice their sport from 

Of course, it's the wingsuits that are the stuff of my flying dreams! In the beginnings of my loss of mobility, I watched dancers and gymnasts, then parkour and free running. Now, it's wingsuit BASE jumping, waking with scraped and bloody knuckles from skimming mountain walls.





Parkour and Free Running still give me relief from gravitational stasis, the release necessary to then be able to turn, smile, and be a gracious gimp.  But the BASE jumpers have taken over top dream billing,

Back to the River for tonight's ending -- I hope to end tonight in official "wee" hours, instead of the 7:30 AM bedtime of the past few days.  This is a poem written by Kevin, of Kevin's Meandering Mind, published there on April 20, 2014, in a post titled "Wonder Poem: Grand Canyon Vertigo."

A Chagall for a Very Good Cause: RSDSA's Annual Bounty of Hope Gala and Auction

It's the beginning of the Besiegement Season.  The gimme-gimme hands are out early.  Here is one request, though, that may appeal to some of you Darling Readers.  It comes from Jim Broatch, Executive Vice President and Director of RSDSA, the best, most reliable support and information source for CRPS patients, anywhere.

I know.  Why don't I, on "behalf" of the Haddock Family, donate a couple of Caravaggio, and perhaps even the Holy Foreskin, recently transferred to Marlinspike Hall due to an unfortunate oversight by Novice Master, Father Guido, which led to the equipment failure of the modified domed pastry tray that contained the relic?  Well, if you've ever been on the receiving end of an alliterative harangue by Captain Haddock, or sat through interminable guitar masses at a Cistercian monastery not known for its musicality, you'd not be egging me on, you reprobates.

But hey, you've got schtuff, too!  And "gift certificates, airline miles, timeshare vacations, unique items like sporting event tickets, shows, or services"!  I know you do!  Promote your company, show off your brand!  Shoot, offer to do a striptease!

In all seriousness, mwa ha ha, CRPS sucks.  I find its capacity for suckitude mind-boggling.  Just in the past 6 weeks, it has decided to take me back to CRPS school and show me some of its new sadistic tricks.  If you like me, love me, put up with me for hard-to-discern reasons, and/or care about my occasional straightforward posts about the neurodegenerative disorder, please find a way to make the 30th Bounty of Hope Gala for RSDSA a fan-freaking-tastic fundraiser.

Maybe no one would miss the Chagall detail study for one of his remarkable nine stained glass windows for the Union Church of Pocantico Hills in New York * -- to accompany and fulfill the last work of Matisse, a rose window in his cut-out style.  We found the Chagall miniature, inexplicably and carefully installed, in a bricked up garderobe in a southwestern pseudo-turret.

We'll have to figure out how to "borrow" one of Captain Haddock's miniature submarines and plot a course through the worm hole entrance in our moat/marina... but, pshaw, that'll be the easy part.  Be on the lookout, Jim!

The Good Samaritan paying the innkeeper for the upkeep of the traveler
Marc Chagall, Union Church of Pocantico Hills, NY

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Dear Lisa, RSDSA hopes that you will take a few moments to read about our upcoming 30th Anniversary Bounty of Hope Gala and decide to participate by donating to our live and silent auctions. On Saturday, October 25th we will be hosting our 14th Annual Bounty of Hope Dinner at Springdale Golf Club in Princeton, New Jersey. We anticipate approximately 200 guests at this function and the fund raised will go toward research, education, and support of our CRPS community. To make this event as exciting and extravagant as we hope, we will need your help!Please consider supporting our event by donating gift certificates, airline miles, timeshare vacations, unique items like sporting event tickets, shows, or services. In exchanges, you will receive some excellent community exposure and advertising. Your company name, address, phone number and donation will be listed in the Auction Brochure that we will provide to our attendees and will be available on our website page prior to the Gala. If you can not donate an item, please consider calling a few places in your surrounding community to see if they would be willing to donate an item to our live and silent auction. Your donation can be mailed to RSDSA at the address listed below. In order for your item to be included in the Auction Brochure we must receive it by Friday, October 10th. Please fill out the attached Donation Form and return it to Christine at choma@rsds.org. You may also mail or drop it off with your donation to RSDSA, 99 Cherry Street, Milford, CT 06460.  If you have any questions please do not hesitate to contact us at 877.662.7737.  Thank you in advance for your all your help and for supporting RSDSA! Sincerely, Jim Broatch, MSW Executive Vice President and Director RSDSA

*  "Like Matisse, Chagall uses colored glass, but it is glass which has been etched with acid to create gradations of color within each piece.  Once the pieces are assembled, Chagall paints on it as if pinging on a canvas.  Using a black glass paint called grisaille, he creates the details in the figures and mitigates the light.  Chagall adjusts and manipulates the grisaille with brushes, brush handles, metal instruments, and even his fingers.  Lastly, he brushes on a yellow silver stain to give the windows their final sparks of color."