Margaret and Helen: Still My Heroes

Few practitioners of the epistolary arts cheer me more than Helen writing to Margaret, or Margaret and her retorts -- all mixed up with that grandson of Helen's who keeps popping up, trying to keep the folks on the porch in order, and the ducks in a row.

If you're not familiar with Margaret and Helen, please do go visit.  It's refreshing and you can let your hair down, if you've any left.

And consider the well-phrased plea of that annoying grandson who has launched a Support MargaretandHelen.com Campaign.  If Helen trusts him, I guess that's good enough for me.

Here is something to lure you over there, if my faint praise hasn't done it:

Nobody will ever need to be shushed in the Bush Libraryby Helen Philpot

Margaret, the next time you go on one of those cruises, you’re just gonna have to take me along because I need a vacation.   Fine wine may mellow with age but I sure as hell haven’t.  I watched the dedication today for that architectural oxymoron known as the George W. Bush Library.  That man was and remains an idiot.  In fact, the only one in the family who seems to have any brains at all is the mother, Barbara Bush, who said the country has had enough Bushes’ in the White House.  I couldn’t agree more.  I hear, however, that she’s a real bitch.  That’s certainly alright by me.  It takes one to appreciate one.

While watching the dedication I was reminded of his idiocy (I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully) as well as his  arrogance (I am the decider).  Lord help me.  I wonder if that man’s library even has books.  I bet nobody ever has to be ssss-hushed in that place.   It’s probably filled with paint-by-number sets.

It just kills me that we put that idiot in office… twice.  But I guess there has never been a shortage of idiots in politics.

And speaking of idiots, it seems like every time there is an explosion in the world, Ann Coulter and a bunch of other old white Republican men crawl out of their caves long enough to thump their chests for the cameras.  Funny how a bunch of yahoos clinging to the 2nd Amendment after kindergarteners are murdered, suddenly want to throw the  rest of the constitution to the curb because this time the culprit was a Muslim using a pressure cooker.... READ THE REST HERE.

Margaret and Helen, Always a Relief

Sometimes I forget about the bazillions of reading awaiting mine eyes in my Google Reader.  What fun to remember -- there's everything from the marvelous organicgreendoctor to a valdese blog to other things amanzi, plus well over a hundred other bits of nutrition.

Nothing gives the shiver of expectation, though, like a lit-up Margaret and Helen

Here's what they have to say for themselves on their "about us" page:


My name is Helen Philpot. I am 82 years old.  My grandson taught me how to do this so that I could “blog” with my best friend Margaret Schmechtman who I met in college almost 60 years ago.  I have three children with my husband Harold.  Margaret has three dogs with her husband Howard.  I live in Texas and Margaret lives in Maine.


FAQ


Are you for real? 
Why is that so hard to believe?  Now I know what Santa Claus must feel like.


Have you really been friends for 60 years?
Some friendships last a lifetime.  We just seem to be living a hell of a long time.


Is this a fake blog?
We got a few scary emails when I first wrote about Sarah Palin so my grandson told me to change our last names on the web page blog.   Philpot was my grandmother’s maiden name and Schmechtman is actually the name of a bird Margaret keeps as a pet.  That bird shits on everything, but she loves him.


Why doesn’t Margaret write more?
She prefers to pick up the phone and call.  I guess I am more the writer, but she is a wonderful artist.   I have some of her paintings in my house.  My grandchildren set me up on this computer, but Margaret always has problems getting on the Internet and says it is too slow.  Maybe it is a Maine thing.  She reads all of the comments and calls me when she sees a comment that she wants to talk about.  Sometimes she offers witty lines that I add to my stories.


Is Margaret a Republican?
Her husband is.


Why did you go so long between blogs before now?
Actually we had several more things on the web page but when it began to get popular my grandson suggested that we take them off because they were personal between me and Margaret.  I sometimes write short stories and would put them on here for Margaret to read.  Some of it was racy.  Much of it was just nonsense.


Will you keep doing this after the election?
Yes, but I don’t know if everyone will keep coming back.  Margaret and I think it would be fun to answer some of your questions.  There are lots of idiots out there who aren’t running for office, but don’t get me started on that shit for brains Elisabeth from The View. 


Why do you use foul language?
It makes me laugh.  Some of the best words in the world are bullshit and ass.  I don’t use bitch very much, but the shoe seemed to fit this occasion.  My grandson says it makes me cool.  Margaret hardly ever cusses.


Are comments moderated?
Not really.  My grandson has been known to remove some remarks and has even banned a few bad apples from future comments.   Margaret and I think some of you are a hoot and we think others are full of bullshit.  But all are welcome – within reason – and considering some of my rants, within reason goes a long way in my book.  The f-word (you decide which one) gets you an automatic kick in the ass.  Same goes for the N word.


How can we reach you?
My grandson set up an email that we can check when we have time.  You can send us a message there, but we can’t promise that we will answer all of them.  bighelenskitchen@yahoo.com

the great wall of vagina

And here, for your enticement, is the beginning of Helen's latest post, come-hitherly titled "Vagina is a 6 Letter Word."  Please go visit their wunnerful site for the rest of it,

Margaret, for the life of me I cannot understand how Republican politicians can be so  fixated on telling women what we can and cannot do with our bodies but then be so incensed that we would actually use the medically correct term to describe our front butt.  Yes.  Front butt is what my granddaughter called it until her mother instructed her to call it by the more appropriate term, pee pot.  I, of course, corrected both of them and called it her num num.  Of course I’m being silly Margaret, but this war on women that the Republican Party has waged has risen to the level of absurdity.


It’s a vagina.  I have one.  154 million Americans have one.  197,000 soldiers have one.  111,000 police officers have one with a badge.  When surveyed, all the Republican women who hold elected office reported having a vagina. I’m pretty sure Sarah Palin has a red, white and blue one. I honestly can neither confirm nor deny the existence of Ann Coulter’s vagina but I am quite certain Elisabeth Hasselbeck’s ate a rat on national tv. [READ REST HERE]

I don't know that I've always done it, but I've always meant to -- at the end of every and any reference to Margaret and/or Helen:  When I grow up, I wanna be just like them.

Helen Philpot: Oh Happy Day

Grrrr. About the only political "pundit" worth the read today is Helen Philpot, of Margaret and Helen fame. You can start here, and finish over on the Front Porch at her place.

I hear that the Back Porch is pretty racy; They serve a mean hard lemonade.  And, for a limited time, apparently, there is pie.

What are you waiting for? Get busy. Read!

Margaret, happy days are here again. The skies above are blue again. It really is just too good to be true. The Republican gains delivered by the Tea Party are almost more than I could hope for. I only wish that lovely Witch in Delaware could have come along for the party as well.


Now let’s see. Where do I begin? Our taxes will soon be about zero percent so let’s start spending today to get this economy back on track. The government will shrink to a size somewhat equal to the size of our military which means Social Security has to go. Those of us who were smart enough to save for a rainy day will be high and dry… for at least a few months. And I got a good check-up from my doctor recently so I don’t need my Medicare… for at least a few months.


Now about that black man in the Oval Office. It will take a few days to get impeachment hearings underway, but until then I hear they are moving him out of the White House and into that little room at the top of the Washington Monument so he can’t cause any more trouble. Oh and Ms. Pelosi is out too. How dare she take on the Health Insurance Industry. Didn’t she realize people own stock in those companies?


Gays are no more. They all left, presumably to join the French Army. And teen pregnancies are a thing of the past. Teens will no longer have sex. Except the Palins. The Palins will abandon teen pregnancies as easily as a camel will pass through the eye of an early pregnancy test stick. No. The Palins will continue to give birth to abstinence only babies. That we know for sure.


Abortion? Well everyone knows that was just a luxury American women really couldn’t afford anyway. And government will now be small enough to actually fit inside a woman’s uterus, so all women with unwanted pregnancies have left, presumably to join the French Army....
[continued at site of origin, HERE.]

From The Phrase Finder:

SOUR GRAPES

Meaning -- Acting meanly after a disappointment.

Origin -- In the fable The Fox and the Grapes, which is attributed to the ancient Greek writer Aesop, the fox isn't able to reach the grapes and declares them to be sour:

Harrison Weir's 1884 English translation, which claims to be "from original sources ", presents the text like this:

A famished Fox saw some clusters of ripe black grapes hanging from a trellised vine. She resorted to all her tricks to get at them, but wearied herself in vain, for she could not reach them. At last she turned away, beguiling herself of her disappointment, and saying: "The Grapes are sour, and not ripe as I thought."

Some of the fables associated with Aesop were written as late as 1900 and many of the earlier ones were considerably amended in Victorian translation into English. Also, some scholars also prefer 'unripe' to 'sour' as a literal translation of the earlier Greek texts.

The phrase also occurs in the Bible, Ezekiel - in Miles Coverdale's Bible, 1535:

18:1 The worde of the LORDE came vnto me, on this maner:


18:2 What meane ye by this comon prouerbe, that ye vse in the londe of Israel, sayenge: The fathers haue eaten soure grapes, and the childres teth are set on edge?


18:3 As truly as I lyue, saieth ye LORDE God, ye shal vse this byworde nomore in Israel.

The difficulty in dating Aesop's work makes it uncertain whether it first entered the English language via the Fables or via the Bible.

HELEN and MARGARET's Pledge to America

Margaret and Helen are making promises and pledging all over the place.  Check it out: HERE.

Graphic Credit

"If it quacks like a Duck and sets a Quran on fire then it must be a Republican"

God Loves A Good Book Burning
by: Helen Philpot | September 9, 2010

Margaret, did we really expect anything less? Religious intolerance has defined the Republican Party for almost 30 years now. A culture of life. Family values. America’s Christian Heritage. The sanctity of marriage. Gays in the military. Prayer in school. A mosque in Manhattan. For goodness sakes, the current leaders of the Republican Party (Palin, Limbaugh, and Beck) have been screaming about a Muslim family in the White House for months now. It was only a matter of time before someone called for a good ‘ole fashion book burning. Does it really matter if that book is the Quran instead of The Catcher in the Rye?


There is just one thing I haven’t been able to figure out yet. How many more groups of people does the Republican Party have to hate before its members finally call for a new platform? Those signs they carry at their rallies are getting pretty full. The print will have to be pretty small at the next Beck rally to fit God Hates Gays, Jews, Blacks, Muslims, Clinton (him and her), the Liberal Media, Obama, Pelosi, French Fries, Activists Judges, Environmentalists, Feminists, Mexicans, and small puppies. Maybe they can just print up a sign that simply says God Hates Everyone Who Isn’t Like Me.


And trust me Margaret. The minute Matthew puts this on that web page blog of ours, a bunch of jack-asses are going to tell us that God hates us too and we shouldn’t generalize all Republicans like that. Well all I have to say is if it quacks like a Duck and sets a Quran on fire then it must be a Republican.


If you vote Republican today, what exactly are you voting for? It’s certainly not smaller government. If you vote Republican today you are telling “Pastor” Terry Jones that fifty religious fanatics are more important than any chance for world peace. You are telling Sarah Palin that when it comes to the presidency - pretty is more important than smart. You are telling Glenn Beck that honesty isn’t really necessary if you have your own cable news show on Fox. You are telling Michele Bachmann that hearing voices in your head isn’t cause for alarm. Hell, if you vote Republican today you might as well just shove a few more dollars in Rush Limbaugh’s pockets and a few more pills in his mouth. It’s all very entertaining, I’ll give you that. But considering what they did when we gave them the keys to the car the last time, are you really ready to put them behind the wheel again so soon? I’m just not sure there are that many more countries we can bomb, world religions we can vilify and oil wells we can drill before the rest of the world calls us on our bullshit.


Here’s a thought. If Pastor Jones is so dead set on burning a book he should just wait until The George Bush Memoirs come out. After all, everyone knows the only thing God loves more than a good book burning is a burning Bush.


If the Democrats can’t muster enough votes to beat this bunch of yahoos then we deserve what we get on November 3rd. Besides, Harold said we could move to Canada and you know how much I love Anne Murray.


Vote Republican and burn a Quran. Same difference. I mean it.  Really.

The blog Margaret and Helen, comprised mostly of Helen Philpot's right-as-rain commentary to her friend Margaret Schmechtman, is my absolute favorite bit of wit on the web.  From About Margaret and Helen:

My name is Helen Philpot. I am 82 years old. My grandson taught me how to do this so that I could “blog” with my best friend Margaret Schmechtman who I met in college almost 60 years ago. I have three children with my husband Harold. Margaret has three dogs with her husband Howard. I live in Texas and Margaret lives in Maine.

If you haven't checked them out, you are missing a lot of truth and laughter. Don't worry about possibly being offended or nonplussed or whatever, because these ladies are as easygoing and nonsectarian as it is possible to be.

I mean it.

Really.

The Philpot Shoots the Schlessinger and I Need Yogurt

I felt so strange this morning. Thought I was jonesing for some plain lowfat yogurt hit with a teaspoon of pure vanilla extract and a kiss of fake sugar... but no! It turns out what I was really wanting was a word from Helen Philpot, of Helen and Margaret fame.

Not that I would compare The Philpot to Plain Lowfat Yogurt. That would be ridiculous.

God, I hope Fred will make a run into Tête de Hergé to nab a bit of bacterial fermentation. Or milk one of the oddly oversized bovines that have broken through the weaker sections of the Olde Stone Wall that keeps us safe from The Cistercians...

I am glad that Helen sort of echos my own take on the Laura Schlessinger affair -- and on Talking Heads, in general: A great big hearty... meh.

Shooting the Schlessinger

Margaret, your letters have been a source of comfort these past few weeks. I really have not felt like writing until your nephew called me to tell me that lots of people actually read this thing and many of them think that I am dead. Goodness gracious. I had no idea that once I started I couldn’t stop. But if this is my lot in life, I guess things could be worse. It keeps me busy and right now I probably don’t need a lot of time on my hands.

I saw in the news today that one of your radio shows is coming to an end. That Dr. Laura lunatic you like has finally gone one step too far and used the N-word a few too many times… well actually one too many times if you think about it. It’s just not one of those words a crazy white woman should let slip. You’d think she would know that.  (read the rest here... where she doesn't mention yogurt even once...)

I don't think I will ruin a surprise by telling you that Helen mentions Sarah Palin -- why not? One crazy white woman invites another! It's like... well, plain lowfat yogurt without the perfume of vanilla or the kiss of sweetness that can only come from a good aged chlorinated artificial confection.

I don't want Palin to feel left out of my own little publicity piece, and I was fairly certain she would have weighed in by now in support of her Sister AirHead... via Twitter, of course.

Were I unfamiliar with Sarah Palin, her advice to Schlessinger ("don't retreat...reload!") might take my breath away. 

SarahPalinUSA
Dr.Laura=even more powerful & effective w/out the shackles, so watch out Constitutional obstructionists. And b thankful 4 her voice,America!

Dr.Laura:don't retreat...reload! (Steps aside bc her 1st Amend.rights ceased 2exist thx 2activists trying 2silence"isn't American,not fair")

Snort!

reposted from 4/2009

I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected:

A half-gallon of 2% milk

A carton of eggs

A quart of orange juice

A head of lettuce

A 2 lb. can of coffee

A 1 lb. package of bacon

As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk
standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the cashier.

While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated,

'You must be single.'

I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by the
derelict's intuition, since I indeed had never found Mr. Right. I looked
at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my
selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status.

Curiosity getting the better of me, I said , "Yes you are correct . But how
on earth did you know that?"

The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly."

From Margaret and Helen's place, comment by Honolulu Sally on April 21, 2009
at 5:47 PM.

Had I been drinking milk, it woulda gone out my nose. Honolulu Sally was commenting after a post that included the Susan Boyle saga -- so this was a nice counterpoint to virulent political correctness. 'Splain to me, though, why the guy has to be a drunk, a derelict? That makes it funnier?

[addendum: it's over a year later and i know the answer to that question. we suppose that drunks, like children, are simple, either by nature or acquired chemistry, and therefore speak nothing but the uninhibited truth.]

I am awful at telling jokes and stories, always forgetting the order of things and schtuff like the punchline. My favorite joke?

Ahem. Cough. Cough. Okay:

Three guys walk into my bar.
I yell: "Get the hell out of my bar!"

I think of it as The Preemptive Strike of Jokes.

Helen Philpot: Somewhere Over the Rainbow

I love finding new posts from Margaret and Helen sitting in my Google Reader. It feels like Christmas. Also, Friday.

Margaret's nephew Howard is a good boy, and we love him. He's also an easy mark for Helen, and we love that, too. While we are loving on everyone, here's a bear hug for Matthew, Helen's grandson, who makes all this possible, from the technical end of things, that is.

I'd give my left shoulder to see some of Margaret's paintings... and all of Helen's short stories.

Anywho, here is the beginning of the latest post from over there, and please do follow it back home so as to read the rest... Shoot, why not camp out on The Porch with some fortified tea or lemonade, and check out the archives?

Margaret, tell Howard that the difference between me and Rush Limbaugh is that I don’t lie in order to support my opinion. That fat bastard Limbaugh will say anything to keep his ratings up and counts on his fans being too lazy to check the facts. And as far as the next election, Howard is probably right. This fickle country of ours will probably put the Republicans back in control of something and it will start all over again. It’s sad really.

I wonder if the Grand Old Party has taken a step back recently and gotten a good look at just how tarnished they have become? You’ve got one Governor shooting wolves out of helicopters and another using laser guided missiles to take out coyotes during his morning jog. You’ve got the Tea Party rooting for insurance companies instead of kids and the Right-To-Lifers shooting doctors at church. The GOP even has homophobes practicing homosexuality. And “drill, baby, drill” isn’t sounding too great for a battle cry these days, but by God they’re sticking to it. From where I sit, the entire Republican Party should head to OZ – looking for a brain, a heart and a pair of testicles. [continued, here...]

Helen: Thanksgiving Letter to the Family 2009

Helen Philpot, of Margaret and Helen fame, has posted one of her holiday epistles:


Dear Family,

This year I am thankful to have you as my family rather than a normal American family. I say that because Sarah Palin is fond of talking about her family being a normal American family.

Last time I checked everyone in my family knows where Africa is on a globe. Everyone goes to college after high school. We’ve had no teen pregnancies as of yet and no one has appeared in Playgirl. If the Palins are a normal American family, I guess my bunch of anti-American socialists are fine by me.

But we have our own issues. For instance, some of us are Aggies and others are Longhorns. Which makes for interesting choices for some of you. If a football game is more important than Thanksgiving, then consider this my last will and testament: When I die, it’s all going to charity... [continues here.]

Helen puts her foot up Joe Wilson's enormous ass

Take it away, Helen Philpot!

I started (and stopped) two different posts on the subject of Congressman Joe Wilson. Somehow, I knew that either Helen or Margaret would take care of business in a way of which I approved.

To wit:

Margaret, I guess if you get enough morons congregating in one particular geographical area, eventually they will vote a fellow moron to represent them in Congress. Kind of like sleeping with your cousin – eventually your offspring are not going to be right in the head. But the idiot parade coming out of South Carolina seems to be getting longer and longer these days.

From where I sit Republican Congressman Joe Wilson’s heckling of the President puts him pretty far down on the moron food chain in South Carolina - well below Miss Teen Lauren Caitlin Upton, but only slightly above Governor Mark Sanford. Which isn’t saying much considering all of them are behind the Osprey, northern pike, perch, bleak, shrimp and plankton. For those of you in South Carolina that is just a fancy way of saying they aren’t worth a pile of shit in my book – except for that little Lauren Caitlin Upton. She couldn’t help herself the poor dear. Everyone knows you can’t be a carnivore and still fit in your pageant dress.

Folks, let me tell you something about healthcare and health insurance. There are a couple of ways to make a buck in the game. One way is to systematically deny coverage to anyone with a propensity to get sick as evidenced by past occurrences. The other way is to spread the risk over the largest population possible effectively minimizing the impact of the most risky. But there is one way for sure to lose a buck – keep increasing the number of people who can’t pay their bill. It’s really quite simple. A public option means insurance companies will report
profits using language like “impressive” and “satisfactory” rather than
“awesome” and ”a buttload of moolah!”

When exactly did we become so enamoured with health insurance companies that we are now so adamantly fighting for their rights to make a buck off our misfortunes? None of this makes any sense to me. The President wants to make a speech encouraging our children to stay in school and study hard and we compare that to Nazi Germany. Doctors talking to patients about feeding tubes and life support machines has become some secret plot to kill Grandma. Making sure a woman can get treatment for her breast cancer is unreasonable. I don’t know Margaret. What’s next? Governor Perry and Governor Sanford fight to see which state secedes from the Union first- Texas or South Carolina? If only…

Someone needs to remind Representative Wilson that he and his family currently have a public option for their health insurance. And while you’re reminding him of that, be sure he understands that the next time his doctor has a finger up his butt all of us taxpayers footed the bill. Come to think of it, maybe instead of paying the bill we can skip the finger and just introduce his ass to my foot. I mean it. Really.

PS. Did anyone else notice the look Nancy Pelosi gave to Joe Wilson when
he acted out? Now there is a lady I would enjoy having over for coffee and pie.

Now, I do have to say that I like South Carolina. South Carolinians can boast of Charleston, The Citadel, Clemson, Myrtle Beach, Converse College, Furman, Newberry, and... Bob Jones University. Ummm. Yes, well. It is not fair to visit condemnation on the whole state for the idiocies of its parts.

Eerie: Fred just emailed me -- and, like Leroy Jethro Gibbs, I don't believe in coincidences -- an article about Congressman Wilson.

Wilson raises more than $200,000 after outburst
Published: 9/11/09, 3:00 PM EDT
By Peter Hamby and Alexander Mooney CNN

(CNN) - Less than a day after Rep. Joe Wilson formally apologized to President Obama over his "you lie" outburst, a campaign aide confirms that the South Carolina Republican has raised "more than $200,000" in the wake of the now-infamous moment. News of that cash haul comes after Wilson directly asked in a Web video for campaign cash to fend off attacks from political opponents and said he's standing by his opposition to Democratic efforts at health care reform.

"On these issues, I will not be muzzled, I will speak up and speak loudly against this risky plan," Wilson said in a YouTube video released Thursday evening. "The supporters of the government takeover of health care and the liberals who want to give health care to illegals are using my opposition as an excuse to distract from the critical questions being raised about this poorly conceived plan."

The congressman disbursed the video via Twitter and asked his followers to "please watch and pass on."

"[Democrats] want to silence anyone who speaks out against it," Wilson also says in the video. "They made it clear they want to defeat me and pass the plan. I need your help now. ... Contribute to my effort to defeat the proponents of government-run health care."

Wilson also sent a fundraising appeal via e-mail, saying he is confident that "my voice is serving as the voice for Americans across the country who are tired of irresponsible government programs that have only worsened our situation."

The appeal for cash came as Wilson's Democratic opponent in next year's congressional race, Rob Miller, reported raking in $750,000 as a result of the outburst during President Obama's address to a joint session of Congress.

Miller ran against Wilson last year, losing by 8 percentage points. It was Wilson's smallest margin of victory in his five elections for Congress.

In an e-mail to supporters Thursday night, Miller said he is aiming to top over $1 million in the next 24 hours, a total that dwarfs the $67,000 he has took in during the entire first half of the year.

Now, maybe I am a tad bit too skeptical... but I get this sneaky feeling that Joe Wilson was being less than honest when he *apologized* for his [unplanned, unorchestrated, apolitical] outburst the other night.

Margaret and Helen, I love you

It is not just because their posts have titles like "my god, bush was an idiot." No, that's just the initial attraction, the cheap come-hither and bright pink boa pulling me into their dark boozy doorway.

I don't leave comments at Margaret and Helen's place. If I did, it would always be "ditto." What he said, what she said. There is one comment that -- so far, at least -- sums up my feelings precisely: "When I grow up, I wanna be just like you."

Rush, Shut the Hell Up

Margaret and Helen, each, never cease to amaze me and ease the tension in my jaw, at the same time.

Helen Philpot wrote this today:

Margaret dear, I need your help sorting all this out. Rush Limbaugh has a daily audience of 14 million morons- give or take a few rednecks - Howard excluded of course. So are we to believe that they all want Obama to fail? Do I have that right? I am a little confused by this recent turn of events because weren’t these the same peckerwoods who got so upset a few years back when a famous country western singer told about 2,000 people at a concert in London that she was ashamed that George Bush was from her home state?

Actually I believe her exact quote was, “Just so you know, we’re on the good side with y’all. We do not want this war, this violence, and we’re ashamed that the President of the United States is from Texas.” If I am not mistaken, conservatives everywhere were enraged - albums were burned, death threats ensued. It was treason.

But Margaret, let’s consider the following quotes attributed to Rush, another celebrity - albeit a celebrity who really gives renewed meaning to the saying a face made for radio:

“I mean, let’s face it, we didn’t have slavery in this country for over 100 years because it was a bad thing. Quite the opposite: slavery built the South. I’m not saying we should bring it back; I’m just saying it had its merits. For one thing, the streets were safer after dark.”

“The only way to reduce the number of nuclear weapons is to use them.”

“If we are going to start rewarding no skills and stupid people - I’m serious, let the unskilled jobs, let the kinds of jobs that take absolutely no knowledge whatsoever to do - let stupid and unskilled Mexicans do that work.”

“Bipartisanship only happens after one side has been defeated. Ask the Japanese after World War II. Ask the Germans.”

The same jackass who made those statements also said, “I want Barack Obama to fail.” And more recently he expounded on that statement when he said, “The dirty little secret is that every Republican in this country wants Obama to fail, but none of them have the guts to say so.” For goodness sakes, I am surprised he finds time to be so loquasious between the mouthfuls of donuts.

Personally, I think Rush Limbaugh is a big, fat pig. I can say that without worry because I am a big, fat bitch. But what he looks like is really just so much fodder for people like me who don’t like his politics. What he says, however… well that is another story.

Hypocrisy. It’s a powerful word. Republicans should look it up sometime.

Barack Obama is a sitting President of a country still at war and on the brink of economic disaster. And Rush wants failure? He is hoping for failure and 14 million listeners who call themselves conservative Americans are okay with that. But a country singer wishing the President didn’t come from her home state caused moral outrage. Has anyone gone and looked up that word hypocrisy yet? While you’re at it, look up the word culpable. Scratch that, just look up the word gluttony.

Of course, Limbaugh can say whatever he wants. It’s a free country. And people can stop buying albums when they don’t like the singer anymore. That’s what ”it’s a free country” means. And I can say that Rush Limbaugh is nothing more than than a fat, greed-filled radio star praying on the insecurities and ignorance of people who graduated high school thinking that they knew everything. Like I said - it’s a free country. You’re free to love it or even hate it if you want. All I ask is that you be honest with yourself about which of those two positions you have chosen to subscribe. Because considering the current state of the world, we will all succeed or fail together - like it or not.

Margaret, I know that Howard listens to Rush. I hope he doesn’t read our little blog. And know that if only because he loves you, I love him. I just wish he would check out the local NPR station once in awhile. I mean it. Really.

magnificent Rush Limbaugh parody credit