Friday, June 22, 2012

Margaret and Helen, Always a Relief

Sometimes I forget about the bazillions of reading awaiting mine eyes in my Google Reader.  What fun to remember -- there's everything from the marvelous organicgreendoctor to a valdese blog to other things amanzi, plus well over a hundred other bits of nutrition.

Nothing gives the shiver of expectation, though, like a lit-up Margaret and Helen

Here's what they have to say for themselves on their "about us" page:

My name is Helen Philpot. I am 82 years old.  My grandson taught me how to do this so that I could “blog” with my best friend Margaret Schmechtman who I met in college almost 60 years ago.  I have three children with my husband Harold.  Margaret has three dogs with her husband Howard.  I live in Texas and Margaret lives in Maine.


Are you for real? 
Why is that so hard to believe?  Now I know what Santa Claus must feel like.

Have you really been friends for 60 years?
Some friendships last a lifetime.  We just seem to be living a hell of a long time.

Is this a fake blog?
We got a few scary emails when I first wrote about Sarah Palin so my grandson told me to change our last names on the web page blog.   Philpot was my grandmother’s maiden name and Schmechtman is actually the name of a bird Margaret keeps as a pet.  That bird shits on everything, but she loves him.

Why doesn’t Margaret write more?
She prefers to pick up the phone and call.  I guess I am more the writer, but she is a wonderful artist.   I have some of her paintings in my house.  My grandchildren set me up on this computer, but Margaret always has problems getting on the Internet and says it is too slow.  Maybe it is a Maine thing.  She reads all of the comments and calls me when she sees a comment that she wants to talk about.  Sometimes she offers witty lines that I add to my stories.

Is Margaret a Republican?
Her husband is.

Why did you go so long between blogs before now?
Actually we had several more things on the web page but when it began to get popular my grandson suggested that we take them off because they were personal between me and Margaret.  I sometimes write short stories and would put them on here for Margaret to read.  Some of it was racy.  Much of it was just nonsense.

Will you keep doing this after the election?
Yes, but I don’t know if everyone will keep coming back.  Margaret and I think it would be fun to answer some of your questions.  There are lots of idiots out there who aren’t running for office, but don’t get me started on that shit for brains Elisabeth from The View. 

Why do you use foul language?
It makes me laugh.  Some of the best words in the world are bullshit and ass.  I don’t use bitch very much, but the shoe seemed to fit this occasion.  My grandson says it makes me cool.  Margaret hardly ever cusses.

Are comments moderated?
Not really.  My grandson has been known to remove some remarks and has even banned a few bad apples from future comments.   Margaret and I think some of you are a hoot and we think others are full of bullshit.  But all are welcome – within reason – and considering some of my rants, within reason goes a long way in my book.  The f-word (you decide which one) gets you an automatic kick in the ass.  Same goes for the N word.

How can we reach you?
My grandson set up an email that we can check when we have time.  You can send us a message there, but we can’t promise that we will answer all of them.

the great wall of vagina

And here, for your enticement, is the beginning of Helen's latest post, come-hitherly titled "Vagina is a 6 Letter Word."  Please go visit their wunnerful site for the rest of it,

Margaret, for the life of me I cannot understand how Republican politicians can be so  fixated on telling women what we can and cannot do with our bodies but then be so incensed that we would actually use the medically correct term to describe our front butt.  Yes.  Front butt is what my granddaughter called it until her mother instructed her to call it by the more appropriate term, pee pot.  I, of course, corrected both of them and called it her num num.  Of course I’m being silly Margaret, but this war on women that the Republican Party has waged has risen to the level of absurdity.

It’s a vagina.  I have one.  154 million Americans have one.  197,000 soldiers have one.  111,000 police officers have one with a badge.  When surveyed, all the Republican women who hold elected office reported having a vagina. I’m pretty sure Sarah Palin has a red, white and blue one. I honestly can neither confirm nor deny the existence of Ann Coulter’s vagina but I am quite certain Elisabeth Hasselbeck’s ate a rat on national tv. [READ REST HERE]

I don't know that I've always done it, but I've always meant to -- at the end of every and any reference to Margaret and/or Helen:  When I grow up, I wanna be just like them.

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