Still, this morning's mail provided a great WTF opportunity. I just can't figure this out.
S. Clusterfuck, M.D. -- Medical Director, Vice President of Clinical Programs with Bull Crap Bull Skeet of Tête-de-Hergé -- wrote me the following letter:
Dear Retired Educator,
Maybe you've avoided tests ever since your school days. But did you know that getting medical tests when you need them is one of the best ways to protect your health? Regular checkups can uncover any new developments early in the game. And that gives you and your doctor the best chance of preventing or controlling problems.
To take charge of your health, talk with your doctor about these ideas:
The microalbumin test checks for early signs of kidney damage by measuring the amount of protein, called microalbumin, in your urine. Damage to your kidneys may cause you to need dialysis treatments.
We're available 24 hours a day, seven days a week to help you live a healthier life.
Sincerely yours, and a pat on the derrière to La Bonne et Belle Bianca Castafiore,
S. Clusterfuck, etcetera etcetera...
I ask, with equal sincerity: WHAT THE FUCK?