I did not lie.
But my interest was prurient.
If I were to want a rhyme, The Oxford Dictionary of Rhymes provides me guidance:
prurient • abeyant , mayn't • ambient , circumambient • gradient , irradiant, radiant • expedient...recreant • variant • miscreant •Orient • nutrient • esurient , luxuriant, parturient, prurient • nescient , prescient •omniscient •
The meaning of "prurient interest" brings out the big guns, too, less interested in rhyming. From The Oxford Companion to the Supreme Court of the United States (2005):
Miller v. California, 413 U.S. 15 (1973), argued 18–19 Jan. and 7 Nov. 1972; PARIS ADULT THEATRE v. SLATON, 413 U.S. 49 (1973), argued 19 Oct. 1972, both decided 21 June 1973 by vote of 5 to 4; Burger for the Court, Douglas, Brennan, Stewart, and Marshall in dissent. Miller v. California articulates the test for obscenity that resolved the dilemma of First Amendment protection for allegedly obscene materials first identified in Roth v. United States (1957). Chief Justice Warren Burger's majority opinion stated that material could be obscene only if “(a) the average person, applying contemporary community standards, would find that the work, taken as a whole, appeals to the prurient interest; [and] (b) the work depicts or describes, in a patently offensive way, sexual conduct specifically defined by the applicable state law; and (c) the work, taken as a whole, lacks serious literary, artistic, political, or scientific value” (p. 25).
I did not lie. I did not tell the truth. My interest was prurient. And I don't want to make a poem with "prurient" as my major rhyming scheme.
Okay, I will tell *you* the truth.
On March 16, I sent the following email:
hello,
you don't know me -- i just saw the message you left on andrea's myspace page. i have crps, too, and had just discovered her fighting4us site when she died down in mexico. you surely don't have to answer this, and perhaps you don't even know yourself -- but what happened? i have been looking into the ketamine coma treatment -- but now that someone has died in connection with it, i don't know anymore.
can you shed any light on whether or not it was the treatment that harmed her or was this just CRPS/RSD doing its dirty work?
sincerely,
the retired educator
How dare I intrude on the death of this lovely girl? Why can't I leave it -- her -- alone, in peace? In part, it is because of the evident lack.
There is nothing but silence around this death, hardly anything beyond the barest of acknowledgements.
Or the most private of them. The nearest and the dearest. And to them, I apologize -- no, rather I beg pardon, for this prurient interest -- not in Andrea, but in what happened *to* Andrea.
The ketamine coma trials... that is what we are made to say, you know -- "the trials."
How many other legitimate "trials" cost well over $50-60,000? How many other legitimate trials cost ANYTHING?
How many other legitimate "trials" suffer a death and allow it to pass into silence, unexplained?
There has also been a high incidence of infection, particularly respiratory -- aspiration pneumonias.
Oh, and how many "trials" make way for someone to repeat the treatment, the benefits of the first time around apparently not having lasted? How was that expressed in the data collection of the second coma? Was the first treatment before the days of the "trials"? You know, back when a person basically only had to produce the money, and be sufficiently young and healthy (beyond having CRPS)? Wait... am I getting it all confused? Because it sure seems like today's requirements are eerily... no, *exactly* the same -- young, otherwise healthy, cash in hand.
My prurient interest has its roots in anger and envy -- as well as in a more legitimate need for information that was not forthcoming from those running the programs. Andrea was getting a second shot at curing or, at least, pushing into remission, her CRPS -- and at a point in time where there is a 2-year waiting list.
Anyway.
I read everything that Andrea ever published on the internet concerning CRPS. She was dedicated but had bought into the demonization of the disease -- it was an actual evil entity to her. This happens in people with CRPS -- because of deleterious effects to the limbic system of the brain? Because of simple human frustration? What can you trust when your own body systems do nothing but lie to you? She cared, and was ferocious in her caring. And she was naive. Childlike.
Her friend wrote me back just this morning.
hi, sorry it took me some time to get back to u ,, i dont check this email offten,.. ok what happend with her was,, from birth she had a bad heart, when she was younger she had surgery to fix it, but with any heart problem eovn if u fix the prob u still have to watch it,, this was her second time getting the ketamine comma treatment done... the first time was great, no probs or issues,,, this last time though, after menay years of fighting, she was 12 when she got the rsd, and died at the age of 24/25 , and all those years of fighgting and medications and the rsd itself, her heart jsut couldnt handle any more and gave out on her... so it wasnt exsactly the ketamine that killed her, it was a combo of evry thing and honestly we all belive evon if she hadnt done the ketamine, she would have died shortly ,,, most people dont realize 1, cause its sugar coated and not spoke about much, 2 doc really dont have any clue when it comes to rsd, unless u haev one that specializes in it, 3 alot of people dont want to belive it and rather live in denighel... rsd can and for the most part the longer u have had it for the more likely it is to happen... effect your internal organs. ive had my rsd for about 3 years now.,.. and its effecting my heart. ive seen the same doc she was seeing.. and he jsut said i haev very agressive and advanced rsd.. and that most likely the ketamine coma wouldnt work for me, but dosnt mean i shouldnt at lest try it.. i have 2 other friends who have done the ketamine infussions. 1 it did nothing for the other it did help almost 90% at getting ride of the pain.. but about 9 months later shes back to as if she never had the infussion... pls dont let the idea of death scare u away form any ketamine treatment...
jsut like the meds we take evryday to help treat our rsd. theres no garentee ur not gonna die form it.. jsut like rsd itself,. in the end it attacts ur own immune system form it and at that point well, its up to u and god... so pls dont let a death scare u/.. rsd isnt easy its scary and not fair and evry miss understood.. the ketamine treatments should not be taken lightly, but nore ignored becuse there have been a problem here or there. rember there were other outside sercomstance that played a role in her dying...
what i tell people who are wanting to do the ketamine treatments but are scared is
u have to stop and ask urself. r u to the point of death as far as taking ur own life in your hands, becuse u have tried evrything ealse possible and nothing has worked, and the ketamine treatments r the last thing, u have left to try.. and if ur answer is yes.. well then u have to make peace with the idea that, this may help it may not, its not 100% safe, but yet u could get hit by a car infornt of ur house in the moring.. also.. if ur about to take ur life becuse the pain is that bad and nothing has worked, really what other option do u have.. than trying ketamine treatments and hopeing for the best, knowing theres a possible risk, or jsut saying nope im giveign up not doing anything more, go into a big depression and kill ur self
2, if u have answerd no to the question., dont do the ketamine treatments, 1 there not coverd by insurance, cost a lot of money, its like a last resuslt thing. evon though it has had the best results, its still a last result. do each and evry other treatment recomende for rsd first evon more than once before trying the ketamine,, sometheing less shocking to the system is always best.. when u have done all the treatments and nothings worked, then that is when u go for the ketamine treatments,,,
i hope this has been helpfull, i dont know how long u have had ur rsd, were it is and how old u are,,, along with what u have tryed and havent for treatments, ive in a way become like a master at knowing rsd and what it dose and and wht can be fdone for it, seeing as my rsd in only almost 3 years is now infected over 50% of my body.. ( liek doc says i have very agressive rsd, apprently its more rare thann rsd, i dont know i jsut know its bad and suckslol) maybe i may beable to help u, with advice things to try, or simply just some one to talk too
this last time though, after menay years of fighting, she was 12 when she got the rsd, and died at the age of 24/25 , and all those years of fighgting and medications and the rsd itself, her heart jsut couldnt handle any more and gave out on her... so it wasnt exsactly the ketamine that killed her
Mercy. Oh, mercy me.
I wrote and thanked her, my prurient interest gone absolutely cold dead.
But my interest was prurient.
If I were to want a rhyme, The Oxford Dictionary of Rhymes provides me guidance:
prurient • abeyant , mayn't • ambient , circumambient • gradient , irradiant, radiant • expedient...recreant • variant • miscreant •Orient • nutrient • esurient , luxuriant, parturient, prurient • nescient , prescient •omniscient •
The meaning of "prurient interest" brings out the big guns, too, less interested in rhyming. From The Oxford Companion to the Supreme Court of the United States (2005):
Miller v. California, 413 U.S. 15 (1973), argued 18–19 Jan. and 7 Nov. 1972; PARIS ADULT THEATRE v. SLATON, 413 U.S. 49 (1973), argued 19 Oct. 1972, both decided 21 June 1973 by vote of 5 to 4; Burger for the Court, Douglas, Brennan, Stewart, and Marshall in dissent. Miller v. California articulates the test for obscenity that resolved the dilemma of First Amendment protection for allegedly obscene materials first identified in Roth v. United States (1957). Chief Justice Warren Burger's majority opinion stated that material could be obscene only if “(a) the average person, applying contemporary community standards, would find that the work, taken as a whole, appeals to the prurient interest; [and] (b) the work depicts or describes, in a patently offensive way, sexual conduct specifically defined by the applicable state law; and (c) the work, taken as a whole, lacks serious literary, artistic, political, or scientific value” (p. 25).
I did not lie. I did not tell the truth. My interest was prurient. And I don't want to make a poem with "prurient" as my major rhyming scheme.
Okay, I will tell *you* the truth.
On March 16, I sent the following email:
hello,
you don't know me -- i just saw the message you left on andrea's myspace page. i have crps, too, and had just discovered her fighting4us site when she died down in mexico. you surely don't have to answer this, and perhaps you don't even know yourself -- but what happened? i have been looking into the ketamine coma treatment -- but now that someone has died in connection with it, i don't know anymore.
can you shed any light on whether or not it was the treatment that harmed her or was this just CRPS/RSD doing its dirty work?
sincerely,
the retired educator
How dare I intrude on the death of this lovely girl? Why can't I leave it -- her -- alone, in peace? In part, it is because of the evident lack.
There is nothing but silence around this death, hardly anything beyond the barest of acknowledgements.
Or the most private of them. The nearest and the dearest. And to them, I apologize -- no, rather I beg pardon, for this prurient interest -- not in Andrea, but in what happened *to* Andrea.
The ketamine coma trials... that is what we are made to say, you know -- "the trials."
How many other legitimate "trials" cost well over $50-60,000? How many other legitimate trials cost ANYTHING?
How many other legitimate "trials" suffer a death and allow it to pass into silence, unexplained?
There has also been a high incidence of infection, particularly respiratory -- aspiration pneumonias.
Oh, and how many "trials" make way for someone to repeat the treatment, the benefits of the first time around apparently not having lasted? How was that expressed in the data collection of the second coma? Was the first treatment before the days of the "trials"? You know, back when a person basically only had to produce the money, and be sufficiently young and healthy (beyond having CRPS)? Wait... am I getting it all confused? Because it sure seems like today's requirements are eerily... no, *exactly* the same -- young, otherwise healthy, cash in hand.
My prurient interest has its roots in anger and envy -- as well as in a more legitimate need for information that was not forthcoming from those running the programs. Andrea was getting a second shot at curing or, at least, pushing into remission, her CRPS -- and at a point in time where there is a 2-year waiting list.
Anyway.
I read everything that Andrea ever published on the internet concerning CRPS. She was dedicated but had bought into the demonization of the disease -- it was an actual evil entity to her. This happens in people with CRPS -- because of deleterious effects to the limbic system of the brain? Because of simple human frustration? What can you trust when your own body systems do nothing but lie to you? She cared, and was ferocious in her caring. And she was naive. Childlike.
Her friend wrote me back just this morning.
hi, sorry it took me some time to get back to u ,, i dont check this email offten,.. ok what happend with her was,, from birth she had a bad heart, when she was younger she had surgery to fix it, but with any heart problem eovn if u fix the prob u still have to watch it,, this was her second time getting the ketamine comma treatment done... the first time was great, no probs or issues,,, this last time though, after menay years of fighting, she was 12 when she got the rsd, and died at the age of 24/25 , and all those years of fighgting and medications and the rsd itself, her heart jsut couldnt handle any more and gave out on her... so it wasnt exsactly the ketamine that killed her, it was a combo of evry thing and honestly we all belive evon if she hadnt done the ketamine, she would have died shortly ,,, most people dont realize 1, cause its sugar coated and not spoke about much, 2 doc really dont have any clue when it comes to rsd, unless u haev one that specializes in it, 3 alot of people dont want to belive it and rather live in denighel... rsd can and for the most part the longer u have had it for the more likely it is to happen... effect your internal organs. ive had my rsd for about 3 years now.,.. and its effecting my heart. ive seen the same doc she was seeing.. and he jsut said i haev very agressive and advanced rsd.. and that most likely the ketamine coma wouldnt work for me, but dosnt mean i shouldnt at lest try it.. i have 2 other friends who have done the ketamine infussions. 1 it did nothing for the other it did help almost 90% at getting ride of the pain.. but about 9 months later shes back to as if she never had the infussion... pls dont let the idea of death scare u away form any ketamine treatment...
jsut like the meds we take evryday to help treat our rsd. theres no garentee ur not gonna die form it.. jsut like rsd itself,. in the end it attacts ur own immune system form it and at that point well, its up to u and god... so pls dont let a death scare u/.. rsd isnt easy its scary and not fair and evry miss understood.. the ketamine treatments should not be taken lightly, but nore ignored becuse there have been a problem here or there. rember there were other outside sercomstance that played a role in her dying...
what i tell people who are wanting to do the ketamine treatments but are scared is
u have to stop and ask urself. r u to the point of death as far as taking ur own life in your hands, becuse u have tried evrything ealse possible and nothing has worked, and the ketamine treatments r the last thing, u have left to try.. and if ur answer is yes.. well then u have to make peace with the idea that, this may help it may not, its not 100% safe, but yet u could get hit by a car infornt of ur house in the moring.. also.. if ur about to take ur life becuse the pain is that bad and nothing has worked, really what other option do u have.. than trying ketamine treatments and hopeing for the best, knowing theres a possible risk, or jsut saying nope im giveign up not doing anything more, go into a big depression and kill ur self
2, if u have answerd no to the question., dont do the ketamine treatments, 1 there not coverd by insurance, cost a lot of money, its like a last resuslt thing. evon though it has had the best results, its still a last result. do each and evry other treatment recomende for rsd first evon more than once before trying the ketamine,, sometheing less shocking to the system is always best.. when u have done all the treatments and nothings worked, then that is when u go for the ketamine treatments,,,
i hope this has been helpfull, i dont know how long u have had ur rsd, were it is and how old u are,,, along with what u have tryed and havent for treatments, ive in a way become like a master at knowing rsd and what it dose and and wht can be fdone for it, seeing as my rsd in only almost 3 years is now infected over 50% of my body.. ( liek doc says i have very agressive rsd, apprently its more rare thann rsd, i dont know i jsut know its bad and suckslol) maybe i may beable to help u, with advice things to try, or simply just some one to talk too
this last time though, after menay years of fighting, she was 12 when she got the rsd, and died at the age of 24/25 , and all those years of fighgting and medications and the rsd itself, her heart jsut couldnt handle any more and gave out on her... so it wasnt exsactly the ketamine that killed her
Mercy. Oh, mercy me.
I wrote and thanked her, my prurient interest gone absolutely cold dead.
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