Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Palin: Are Her Bumpits Too Tight?

After spending considerable time trying to understand what so many claim to see in Sarah Palin, I transitioned to wasting more of that time devising a plausible explanation for both her positive reception and her remarkable idiocy.

You know, tryin' not to infer too doggone much!

Eureka, my friends, eureka. Thanks to @Tweetin4Palin, it became clear to me that blood flow is being restricted and inappropriately diverted by these Bumpits that Palin clearly is never without -- and she must have spawned a Bumpits Craze among already off-kilter supporters. Goin' rogue with them Bumpits!

I know, I know. How to explain the masculine connection? I haven't noticed too many Bumpits among the men, though maybe I am not lookin' in the right places.

Oh, puh-leeze! Piece of cake, cuppa tea! The Bumpits Women are crafty and able. Simple lead poisoning can induce cognitive dysfunction for a good 50 years. Careful dosing with carbon monoxide provides that episodic kind of confusion that makes politics an absolute riot! And, of course, you cannot go wrong with heavy metals, though it might be good to take a class at the community college first -- especially if you're hoping to reverse whatever encephalopathy you cook up for hubby, hijo, and pawpaw.

Glad I could bring a little clarity to the situation. Again, if you are trying to understand Ms. Palin, as well as Ms. Palin as a phenomenon, the explanation is a two-parter:

1. Bumpits (Sarah and her militant mavens, women all) and

2. Subsequent poisoning (CO, lead, heavy metals ingested/inhaled by Palin Patriarchsl note that we did not even *begin* to discuss the possibilities for poisonous plants!)

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