Monday, May 16, 2011

New Nurse

Though I am tempted to insist that she appear at the same time and in the same place with Nurse K, I enjoy reading New Nurse In The Hood's blog.  It's... scrappy.

Also, like the always aforementioned Nurse K, New Nurse reminds me of why you will never find me in an Emergency Room/Department unless my ACTUAL emergency involves lots of blood (and gore, lots of gore) that cannot be resolved by applying feminine pads to my shin. (Please try to keep up.) And even then, I might not go.  I mean, who knows, Dr. Schwartzman's Office Staff might try and call me with a free hair appointment.  Or a gift card for a shopping spree at Amputations R Us.

I'm fine.  Really!

Anyway... New Nurse is good.  And if only 10% of what she relates as happening in her ER/ED (screw WhiteCoat!) actually happens?  Then she is a far better person than I would be under similar circumstances.  Some of these folks qualify for Group Memberships on my List of People Who Need Killing.

Would you HUSH, please?  I said, "I'm fine," and that's what I meant: I'M FINE.

So... New Nurse gives us the run-down in this post entitled "Just an overall poor effort" -- from last Wednesday.  An optional title?  One girl, no brain.  Or something like that. 

It's an old tale, really, as old as time.  Shakespearean in its ridiculousness. 

Yes! Pregnancy games!  How to waste precious medical resources, in human as well as monetary terms!

From reading many an excellent medical blog, I get the feeling that a good version of New Nurse's "poor effort" post could be written weekly by each of them, and from fresh, actual material, too!  That's sad and pitiful.

Without further ado... why not start her post here and then finish it over there at her place?

Just an overall poor effort

Chick checks in last night for nausea x 5 days, with positive pregnancy test at home. Let me pop that in the hood hospital translator for you right quick:
I want a sonogram, and maybe another pregnancy test. Starts going into an in depth discussion with the triage nurse about when she started having sex with this dude that is with her currently. Listen sister, this isn't Maury, we just asked your LMP, next please.
So it was utter pandemonium and fuckery up until about 4 am last night, people were forming human pyramids in the waiting room because there were no more chairs, the line to check in wrapped around the building and everyone had chest pain. I had two dudes who fell off of roofs, like, really actually fell off of them, check in within 5 minutes of one another. One had a broken C2. So, uh, obviously this young woman's complaint was not of immediate concern. So she and baby daddy leave and do some shit at Walmart or whatever and then come back...

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