After serving as the responsible full biological offspring representative at my father's recent death celebrations, Brother-Unit Grader Boob returned to the Land of Erudition last week where he continues the attempt to weave and knit together enough university employment to have a usable oven mitt to remove the pizza rolls from the microwave without blistering His Instrument: the red pen-holding hand.
He just sent me an email that had this warning in the subject line: "Get ready for a long one..."
"Ayuh," said the Maine girl in me. I eyeballed the roughly 4 inches of text I was gonna have to labor through, a good part of which consisted of this:
Well, that’s it for now—but let me end with an anecdote.
On Wednesday evening, the entire ABC online faculty had an ******* meeting to discuss the fact that “some” professors were giving higher grades than had actually been earned. The Center for Online Edification had been “horrified” to discover that a basically illiterate student had worked his way through several classes, actually getting a B- for the second Comp course. (I started chuckling and began yelling at the computer: “I’m shocked, shocked to find there’s gambling going on in this establishment!”)
At first, the group blamed student quality, always a safe scapegoat, especially after it was revealed that 75% of those taking the “entrance exam” end up in remedial courses. (By this time, I was chanting, “Money! Money!” at the screen.)
They then decided that plagiarism was the culprit, even though they do like how Turnitin.com has gotten so user friendly. Moments later, there was a call for an institutional grading rubric and a committee to look into that.
“Money! Money!”
Finally, someone noted that this seemed to be a faculty issue, for they’re the ones giving out the higher grades. Silence filled the chat room.
“Exactly! Exactly!”
The evening ended shortly thereafter, with the standard academic result—further discussion and a committee.
Sadly, no one got fired!
Well, that exhausts my narrative skills, and so I’ll just say ta-ta.
I do love my Brother-Units! And their emails. When I get them. Hint, TW, hint. ♥
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