Friday, September 28, 2012

More about Billy

Billy and his three grandsons


I hope Joyce, Billy's wife, doesn't mind -- I'm stealing part of her blog posted on the Dr Phil website.  I think it helps us know him better, and if you've been on the fence about donating a few dollars to their FundRazr effort, maybe this will help you make up your mind and give a little.  HERE is the LINK.

And here is Joyce:

I got Billy to eat just a little bit earlier which is better than not eating at all.

It is so hard to watch him each day knowing how much pain he has and not being able to do anything. Since August 13th when he came home from the hospital he has lost 30 more pounds so that is a total of 55 lbs.  He has had such a hard life already.  He has been abandoned by parents that should never have been parents (there were 4 kids one died of a drug overdose before I met Billy) when he was very small. Him and his brother apparently went to a foster home and orphanage (his other brother the one that passed on and his sister went to a foster home in Hickory) where his uncle found them and took them in, but from the stories I have been told Billy was alsway being thrown out due to his undiagnosed schizophrenia, so he has been homeless a lot, living on the streets and eating out of trashcans.  

He joined the Army the day he turned 18 and was stationed in Germany for a couple years. He was 22 when he was diagnosed with schizophrenia at Fort Bening, Georgia. He has been married once before to a woman that apparently was quite abusive to him. His sister said she was always calling him names and belittleing him and smacking him

One of the things I always got so mad at was him giving his money away, but his sister said he has done that all his life too. He would work (when he lived with his sister and before becoming disabled) and one time he heard this woman talking about needing money to feed her kids, he just got paid that day, cashed his check, kept a few dollars for himself and gave the rest to her. Libby said he was always like that, he would come home on payday and she would ask him about his check and he would say he gave it to someone that needed it more than he did.

Thought I would just share a little bit about him, he has his ways but for the most part he is really a good guy, always worried about everyone else, he still gives his money away although not as much. He has had a habit of giving everyone an allowence, he has to make sure Misty, Christina, Brian, Aric, Christopher and Shawna gets 10 to 20 dollars each,  every month. He even gave my brother money when he lived with us. I told him no wonder I couldnt get rid of anybody, he was paying them to live with us.  I dont fuss at him now for doing it, its his disability and as long as I can pay the bills he can give it away if he wants to.   There has been plenty of times we have had to borrow money (almost every month) the last week of the month to make it to payday and I would tell him that if he wouldnt give everything away we wouldnt have to do that, but he never listened, he would still give it away anyway.


Not 100 percent sure but Roger (Billys brother) may pay for a cremation and then me pay him some of it back, but he hasnt really said for sure.  Its not what Billy wants or deserves as a veteran (to me he deserves the full military burial he should have as A veteran) but thats just how it has to be. Since the donation thing we started hasnt been going to well (not well at all in a month we have raised 63 dollars, only 12 from the online FundRazr) we have to do what we have to do even if it means the county coroner does something with the body.

This morning, Billy finally agreed to go -- temporarily -- to the actual brick-and-mortar Hospice facility, so that they can get him stabilized on a good pain regimen, and get rid of some of the fluid plaguing him.  Also, one might make an argument for this being some timely respite for Joyce.  He will be returning home as soon as those goals are accomplished.  I've never met Billy, nor Joyce, for that matter.  She and I have played at different scenarios in our relationship -- mentor/mentee, online mutual supporters, online enemies, paranoid tag-teamers, and, finally, I think, cautious friends.

I can attest to the truth of her situation, and as someone who has been conned several times, you can put trust in that assessment.

But Billy... he's schizophrenic and I don't know what that means in any particular way.  He is becoming manipulative, emotionally, and my first reaction is, "Well, hell, the man is dying a hard death, after scrabbling through a hard life..." and other various expiations.  When Joyce was leaving to go home after they had settled him in his room at hospice, she started to close the door. Billy called out to leave it open, as he did not want to die with the door closed.

Oh... I understand Billy!  I am emotionally manipulative, calling out, and when someone risks their sanity by asking if they can help in any way?  "No, no, there's nothing anyone can do..."

Oh... I understand Billy!

Please donate what you are able -- Joyce cares not just for her husband, but really, she sees to the welfare of her mother, one of her daughters (disabled), her three (hyperactive!) grandsons, another daughter in her senior year of high school, and deals with a drug-addicted sister and brother who have an innate sense of when to strike for sympathy.  Then there are the twin daughters of the aforementioned sister, who are now also into drugs, and appear to have developed eating disorders.  

These are the kind of lives into which you'd like to deposit Mitt Romney for a long weekend, just to see what he might learn about his brothers and sisters.  Command, O Chief!

Their needs are great but I honestly believe you and I can help, as much as money can help, and prayers and intentions offered to the universe and God.


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