I just had sex and it felt so good (Felt so good)

I think, now that I am sick of McConnelling, that this is the perfect one.  Of course, what would be perfect, po-li-tic-all-y, involves the Secret Service turning up at my door.  With some sort of award cast in pure gold.  Hefty, really weighty.  Then they could give me a lift to the nearest pawn shop, stand guard while I traded in my voluminous meritorious medal or huge trophy for cold, diminishing cash.  Each Secret Service agent would receive, as is proper, a generous gratuity.  Spread wealth, Friends, spread wealth.

Yes.
Well.
Anyway.

Here's #McConnelling to The Lonely Island's super-crafted tune "I Just Had Sex":

Sometimes somethin' beautiful happens

In this world

You don't know how to express yourself

So you just gotta sing

I just had sex and it felt so good

(Felt so good)

A woman let me put my penis inside of her

I just had sex and I'll never go back

(Never go back)

To the not-having-sex ways of the past

Have you ever had sex? I have, it felt great

It felt so good when I did it with my penis

A girl let me do it, it literally just happened

Havin' sex can make a nice man out the meanest

Never guess where I just came from, I had sex

If I had to describe the feeling, it was the best

When I had the sex, man, my penis felt great

And I called my parents right after I was done

Oh, hey, didn't see you there, guess what I just did?

Had sex undressed, saw her boobies and the rest

Was sure nice of her to let you do that thing

Nice of any girl ever, now sing

I just had sex and it felt so good

(Felt so good)

A woman let me put my penis inside of her

I want to tell the world

To be honest, I'm surprised she even wanted me to do it

Doesn't even really make sense, but, man, screw it

I ain't one to argue with a good thing, she could be my wife

That good? The best thirty seconds of my life

I'm so humbled by a girl's ability to let me do her

'Cause honestly, I'd have sex with a pile of manure

With that in mind, a soft, nice-smellin' girl's better

Plus, she let me wear my chain and my turtle-neck sweater

So this one's dedicated to them girls

That let us flop around on top of them

If you're near or far, whether short or tall

We want to thank you all for letting us fuck you

She kept lookin' at her watch

(Doesn't matter, had sex)

But I cried the whole time

(Doesn't matter, had sex)

I think she might've been a racist

(Doesn't matter, had sex)

She put a bag on my head

(Still counts)

I just had sex and my dreams came true

(Dreams came true)

So if you had sex in the last thirty minutes

Then you're qualified to sing with me

I just had sex

(Everybody sing)

And it felt so good

(We all had sex)

(Felt so good)

A woman let me put my penis inside of her

(I want to tell the world)

I just had sex and I'll never go back

(No, no, no)

To the not-having-sex ways of the past

Songwriters

Bettis, Jerrod / Franks, Justin / Schaffer, Akiva / Samberg, Andrew / Taccone, Jorma