Sunday, March 23, 2014

I just had sex and it felt so good (Felt so good)

I think, now that I am sick of McConnelling, that this is the perfect one.  Of course, what would be perfect, po-li-tic-all-y, involves the Secret Service turning up at my door.  With some sort of award cast in pure gold.  Hefty, really weighty.  Then they could give me a lift to the nearest pawn shop, stand guard while I traded in my voluminous meritorious medal or huge trophy for cold, diminishing cash.  Each Secret Service agent would receive, as is proper, a generous gratuity.  Spread wealth, Friends, spread wealth.

Yes.
Well.
Anyway.

Here's #McConnelling to The Lonely Island's super-crafted tune "I Just Had Sex":

Sometimes somethin' beautiful happens
In this world
You don't know how to express yourself
So you just gotta sing

I just had sex and it felt so good
(Felt so good)
A woman let me put my penis inside of her
I just had sex and I'll never go back
(Never go back)
To the not-having-sex ways of the past

Have you ever had sex? I have, it felt great
It felt so good when I did it with my penis
A girl let me do it, it literally just happened
Havin' sex can make a nice man out the meanest

Never guess where I just came from, I had sex
If I had to describe the feeling, it was the best
When I had the sex, man, my penis felt great
And I called my parents right after I was done

Oh, hey, didn't see you there, guess what I just did?
Had sex undressed, saw her boobies and the rest
Was sure nice of her to let you do that thing
Nice of any girl ever, now sing

I just had sex and it felt so good
(Felt so good)
A woman let me put my penis inside of her
I want to tell the world

To be honest, I'm surprised she even wanted me to do it
Doesn't even really make sense, but, man, screw it
I ain't one to argue with a good thing, she could be my wife
That good? The best thirty seconds of my life

I'm so humbled by a girl's ability to let me do her
'Cause honestly, I'd have sex with a pile of manure
With that in mind, a soft, nice-smellin' girl's better
Plus, she let me wear my chain and my turtle-neck sweater

So this one's dedicated to them girls
That let us flop around on top of them
If you're near or far, whether short or tall
We want to thank you all for letting us fuck you

She kept lookin' at her watch
(Doesn't matter, had sex)
But I cried the whole time
(Doesn't matter, had sex)
I think she might've been a racist
(Doesn't matter, had sex)
She put a bag on my head
(Still counts)

I just had sex and my dreams came true
(Dreams came true)
So if you had sex in the last thirty minutes
Then you're qualified to sing with me

I just had sex
(Everybody sing)
And it felt so good
(We all had sex)
(Felt so good)
A woman let me put my penis inside of her
(I want to tell the world)
I just had sex and I'll never go back
(No, no, no)
To the not-having-sex ways of the past

Songwriters
Bettis, Jerrod / Franks, Justin / Schaffer, Akiva / Samberg, Andrew / Taccone, Jorma




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