Loudon Wainwright III -- "Bill of Goods"

for today, the joke, the truth, spewn from loudon,'
and in spite of the spittle undeniability?
i believe.

fred and i admire his basic truth telling about men;
his drilling down, despite his sadness, into the truth of women;
can all that truth end only in weeping eyes,
the need for lies?

Everything will be alright,Remember when you thought that?I sold you that bill of goods,Remember when you bought that?
Everything will be alright,Remember when you thought that?I sold you that bill of goods,Remember when you bought that? 

Everything will be alright

Couldn't make the effort

You couldn't talk the chit-chat

At the dinner table you looked tired

The soft candle light couldn't hide that.

Your perfume petered out.

There was a whiff from your nicked armpit

When the real you wafted through

And your deodorant

Couldn't stop it.

There was a fire in your building.

They still don't know what caused it.

But all your clothes and shoes burned up,

When it spread to your closet.

You had on your see-through night gown,

Not quite completely naked.

You refused the fire chief,

When he offered you the blanket.

Everything will be alright,

Remember when you thought that?

I sold you that bill of goods,

Remember when you bought that?

Common knowledge has it,

Easy never does it.

We gave each other such a hard time,

It sure was fun or was it an adventure or disaster,

Kinda sweet or sorta sour,

Nothing's that important

When it takes more than half an hour.

And if you're gonna catch it,

Pray that day that they can cure it

And the procedure is painless,

So somehow we'll all endure it.

And if there's surgery it's plastic

And entirely cosmetic,

So the new you is near perfect

For some so unatheletic.

Everything will be alright,

Remember when you thought that?

I sold you that bill of goods,

Remember when you bought that?

Everything will be alright,

Remember when you thought that?

I sold you that bill of goods,

Remember when you bought that?

Everything will be alright.

Published on Mar 27, 2015 by Own private I dunno

From "The Best of Mountain Stage Volume 1" (1991

© 2015 L. Ryan