Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Banes of My Existence



I think this will be more of a "hodge-podge" than a "potpourri."

hodge-podge: Victorian; stew made from left‐over cooked meat with vegetables. -- A Dictionary of Food and Nutrition

hotch-pot mixture, medley XIV (spec. in cookery XV); (leg.) collation of properties to secure equality of division XVI. — AN., (O)F. hochepot, f. hocher shake + pot POT. Altered by rhyming assim. to hotchpotch XV, hodge-podge XVII. -- The Concise Oxford Dictionary of English Etymology

In yet another strange admission on my part, I have always loved the french verb hocher. There are certain words that have lovely mouth feel, not unlike the rich, smooth, luxuriant qualities of the fats and flavors in a homemade vanilla bean ice cream.

Or maybe it has something to do with the whole "ashhh"-aspiré issue. The French Aspirate H. Now, that is much too much ado about liaisons and elisions. The issue divides families along political lines, separates young from old, Taoists from Jews. Heartbreaking.

Wonderful news! With the help of my stellar kidney function, my CK level dropped from over 3,000 to 51. Snoopy-esque Happy Dance.



I singlehandedly managed to mess up our television reception, even the remote control, last evening. All I did, I swear, was to accidentally switch off the power strip to which every piece of electronic equipment in a 100 mile radius was attached. I was vacuuming (Bronze medalist, Wheelchair Vacuuming, Gimp Olympics 2007) I figure that it was excellent physical therapy; Also, when the cat hair completely covers the 16th century stone paving and the fancy-schmancy linoleum (Welsh deo gratias tiles), well it's time to stop waiting on the Merry Maids Housecleaning Service to show up. Do you remember the only eighteenth century Karabagh rug in the whole of Our Manor, Marlinspike Hall? I just managed to get the hot yellow mustard out of it and now it looks like a fuzzy cashmere sweater, as Marmy the Longhaired *Ack*-*Ack*-er has been rolling her little fluffy butt all over it, "one of The Captain's most prized antique rugs of the Caucasus."

It took me the better part of 3 hours to get the television on speaking terms with the DVR, and then we discovered that the remote control -- the bane of my existence* -- wasn't in the mood to control much of anything. We had to, gasp, rediscover that difficult old life of pushing the actual buttons on the equipment. My index finger is sore. I made my typical announcement for when it is late and I am stymied: "Let's deal will it in the morning." It's not a bad idea, you know -- fresh eyes. I fairly leapt out of bed this morning and managed to have everything electronic back to normal before my first cup of coffee.

I caught a brief very sober give-and-take between the CNN anchor and some Pretty-Young-Thing-Posing-As-An-Economic-Pundit. In that moment, the fall-back position of the more extreme-right citizens of the Republican Party was made clear. The gist? "Hey, it looks like a fair number of the world's more respectable nations are pursuing their own very expensive stimulus plans... So maybe it isn't as dumb an idea as we have been saying, eh?"

Ahhh, the Law of Association, maybe the first thing one learns in algebra, looms large on CNN and in the minds of the aforementioned citizens. Remember? Sit back, relax, and take yourself back to the days of...

ASSOCIATIVE LAWS
The associative laws of addition and multiplication refer to the grouping (association) of terms and factors in a mathematical expression.
ADDITION
The algebraic form of the associative law for addition is as follows:
a+b+c=(a+b)+c=a+(b+c)
In words, this law states that the sum of three or more addends is the same regardless of the manner in which the addends are grouped.
MULTIPLICATION
The algebraic form of the associative law for multiplication is as follows:
a · b · c = (a · b) · c = a · (b · c)
In words, this law states that the product of three or more factors is the same regardless of the manner in which the factors are grouped.

I dunno. Maybe my little algebraic detour has no bearing on economic principles. It is maybe way more Obama-esque than Reagan-esque. Tant pis.
At least I got to laugh a little bit in my mouth. (I had to work in a way to reference this: A Deeper Look At Bad Lingo: When Did We Start Throwing Up In Our Mouths A Little Bit, And Why?)

In a sad way, I have arrived as a bloggeuse. Anonymous visited me this morning at 7:40, wishing to gently josh about a post on Laura Beckett. My first non-sensical rant. I am moved, so moved. I do hope Anonymous comes back -- as soon as she pulls her head out of her pink oversized panties...


Rush Limbaugh continues to amaze me -- I guess that is mostly because I have never really paid any attention to his craziness -- or his pink oversized panties. It is easy to trash Ted Kennedy; It is also representative of the lowest common denominator of thought(lessness), and, well, it is also crass, and rude. I won't argue about what kind of éloge Kennedy will deserve, but I tend toward kindness. He has done many good things. Limbaugh, on the other hand? Surely his incessant anger (not to mention the cigars) will one day be his demise. He will not be remembered for good things...

I realized only recently that all of those people and things at which I scoffed (or that I actively ignored) because I thought they were not to be taken seriously -- must be taken seriously. Extremely seriously, if only out of respect. If only out of fear.



*From the Word Detective

Lassie Shut Up.

Dear Word Detective: I know what "bane" means and I can understand the term "the bane of my existence," but I was just wondering how the phrase came about. -- Lena, via the internet.

Well, you may know what "bane of my existence" means in the abstract sense, but you cannot possibly understand the true gravity of the phrase, because you do not live within earshot of my neighbor's dog. Said dog barks all night every night year round and, although it lives a half mile away, this dog possesses a nuclear larynx that can slice through double-pane windows, pillows and earplugs as piercingly as if it were chained under my bed. Woof woof woof. Woof woof. Woof woof woof. I am an animal lover who has even been known to put out food for field mice and possums, but there is no night as dark as the feelings I harbor for that idiot dog (and, of course, his idiot owner) at 4 a.m.

To say that something or someone is "the bane of my existence" means that the person or thing is a constant irritant or source of misery. As a cliché, "bane of my existence" has lost its edge to a large degree over the years, and today is most often applied to something that may profoundly annoy us but is certainly bearable. Telemarketers, for instance, have become the "bane" of many folks' existence, but few of us are sufficiently distressed to turn off our telephones, and while "spam" is a daily "bane," not many of us would dream of giving up the Internet. "Bane of my existence" is now almost always used in a semi-jocular, "what are you gonna do?" sense.

But "bane" was once a very serious word. The Old English "bana" meant literally "slayer" in the sense we now use "killer" or "murderer." Early on, the English "bane" was also used in the more general sense of "cause of death," and by the 14th century "bane" was used in the specialized sense of "poison," a sense which lives on in the names of various poisonous plants such as "henbane" and "wolfbane."

From this very literal "something that kills you" usage, "bane" by the 16th century had broadened into its modern meaning of "something that makes life unpleasant, a curse."

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