nekkid vets

Yet another phrase I never thought I'd write:

Check out these nude veterinary students from New Zealand!

Animals, and their welfare, have been heavy on our minds here at Marlinspike Hall for days now. Oh, who am I kidding? We absolutely adore the creatures, great and small, with whose care we are charged. We are honored by the responsibility, and reap innumerable rewards from our interspecies relationships.

Now if we could just cure Sam-I-Am of his otherworldly snores. Not kidding -- he's loud enough to wake the dead. Marlinspike Hall fills to its erstwhile rafters with disgruntled zombies when Sammy hits his sonorous stride.

In Tête de Hergé and its environs, large farm animals are in more often in receipt of the majority of monies left in our last wills and testaments, than are our human compatriots. At the end of our lives, as we lay dying on our high-thread-count, muscovite cotton sheets, whose love is more manifest, the softly mewling Uncle Kitty Big Balls, or that poor-excuse-for-a-cousin, Luigi?

(The last time we left him alone in one of the kitchens, he microwaved an egg. And a fork. "To see what would happen.")

Uncle Kitty Big Balls, on the other hand, daily revels in simply being alive, and spreads his joy with increasing heft and raspy vocalizations. He needs to lay off the cigars and learn to walk away from second helpings of kibble, but he needs no lessons in basic decency, and wouldn't know the Golden Rule if it nipped him on his fluffy booty -- though the boy lives it better than most creatures.

(A free bit of wisdom -- one-a-day here at elle est belle la seine la seine elle est belle: According to statistics and polls, those obliged to spout off about treating others as they wish to be treated, themselves, are 73% more likely to be pompous asses.)

Okay, Marmy just sashayed over to *ack*:*ack* at me, so clearly, my train of thought took off without moi, *again*.

One of the blogs I enjoy following is Four Paws and Whiskers, a New Zealand production.

A word about New Zealanders: They're cool. No, I mean, really cool. I know it is a stereotype, so I will jump right into contributing to its spread.

One of my first internet friends was Roberta, a no-nonsense retired nurse from New Zealand whom I met through one of the myriad Yahoo! groups of that era. We shared a diagnosis of avascular necrosis/osteonecrosis -- the dread rotten-like-swampwater bone disease. I had it in all long bones; Roberta was afflicted in her hips, and also, distressingly, in the jaw. She brought much wit and wisdom to the New Zealand medical world through her nonstop carping and quipping.

But what we most enjoyed, of course, was politics. I thoroughly looked forward to hearing about whatever might be getting Roberta's goat and she patiently fielded my frustrations with George Bush.

Maybe it is just me, and the type of people I attract (or repel, or otherwise engage), but it seems like every New Zealander that I get to know is vibrantly active and cheerful, always involved in Thinking Globally, Acting Locally.

Clearly, I am no expert on the region. I've learned a lot about the social and political fabric through contact with another ferocious blogger, Kirsten, who manages not one, but two blogs: Neo-Conduit and New Zealand Healthcare. She experienced what might, euphemistically, be called an "unfortunate experience" at her local Christchurch hospital while under the care of a surgeon for the construction of a neobladder. I stumbled across this former vet nurse over at Happy the Hospitalist's place, where she was busy giving him much deserved hell.

As she blogged her difficulties, Kirsten moved from a position of victimhood to activism. Times are tough, but she is tougher.

Kiwis still champion causes, and do so unselfconsciously, which is a beautiful thing. It's been at least a decade since a person of my acquaintance truly championed anything, and only a few exceptional people have done so without checking themselves out in the mirror first (Does death penalty abolition work make my butt look big?).

Oh, now. That's a lie. I have a dear friend in Wisconsin known to feed and water her neighbor's starving, thirsty horses in the dead of night. She and her eighty-something year old mother would tear down the street in subzero temperatures, with headlights safely off, and skid to a stop in front of the horses' enclosure. After hopping into the bed of the truck, the old lady, in recovery from a recent ankle replacement, would toss a few bales of hay over the fence, then hold on for dear life as my friend burned rubber in the short trip home. I cannot imagine that they fooled anyone, but everyone pretended not to notice.

The day she was trapped with the horses during an unexpected appearance of the ne'er-do-well neighbor is a day that shall live in Thurberesque infamy. If I followed the narrative correctly, she spent a good half-hour perched atop one of the stalls, much as you might climb on to a public toilet in hopes of hiding your feet from view.

Why you are standing on a public toilet so as to hide your feet from view is your own business.

I don't want to know the details. (Call me...)

During my stint at the Gothic Wonderland, my first "boss" became my friend. Unbeknownst to most of her colleagues, she fed and provided vet care for feral and medically fragile cats. She was considered a "cattery," and received a special rate from vets for her caring work. A talented linguist and budding primatologist, she died unexpectedly in a car accident during a Spring Break trip to Portugal. It was a sad time that was lightened by the necessity of finding caretakers for some of the more needy cats -- several had feline leukemia and/or feline AIDS. Her friends found comfort in the task, and from the experience, and a good many dedicated catlovers were born.

So -- in a decidedly all-creatures-great-and-small kind of mood, I was delighted to check in at Four Paws and Whiskers, and to find these delightful veterinary students, all
nekkid as jaybirds, posing nude to raise money through the resultant calendar.

Don't be shocked, as nude calendar fundraising is all the rage. Me, I work via preemptive strike. I threaten to make a nude calendar and people give me money not to.

Remember The Men of Maple Corner? (The often untold story about the vicious backlash given these nekkid gentleman should be a stern moral warning for us all, however.*)






Then there were the Still Magnolias of Aiken, South Carolina, who bared it all for the sake of... who even remembers? Oh, wait, it was that flighty organization known as The Aiken Area Council on Aging (AACOA) -- "a not for profit organization that is a lifeline for many of Aiken's older adults and their families. In addition to being the only provider of coordinated public transportation services for the elderly, it provides a host of other essential services including home delivered meals, respite care for Alzheimer's patients, counseling and home care programs." I know nudity is the first thing I think of when I think social services.

Twenty-six, over-60 year old, church-going Southern Belles took on the cause by taking off their clothes and they inspired the tasteful and picturesque "Still Magnolias" calendar. "Still Magnolias" is a source of encouragement as it reveals the richness of life for women over 60.

Only in Aiken would they characterize the endeavor as "a source of encouragement"!

What finally sold me on the naked calendar fundraiser? Finding an actual Nude Calendar Watch List! At complete random, I copied a section of the Dreaded Purple Master Nude Calendar Watch List. Isn't this just divine?

More Than You Expect from an Orchestra
Myrtle Creek Elkettes
Naked
Naked Folk
Naked Gardener
Naked Gardeners
Natalie Gulbis
Nationwide MAAD About The Boy
Nature & Nudes
Netball Uncovered
Newcastle University
North Beach PAWS Pet Pin-Ups
Northeast Kingdom
Red Rompers
Nude BC Gold Rush History
NYC Tea Society "Corset Cuties"
Oberlin College Women's Rugby
Of Mutts and Men
Official Mylf
Calendar
Orchid Cancer Appeal
Osceola County Council on Aging
Pegswood Footballers
Perfectly Aged
Pink Ladies' Calendar
Plush
Cat Club
Real Essex Girls
Real Men of Eston
Red Hat Society "Brady
Beauties"
Red Hat Sooke Sirens
Relay for Life / Hope-full Hearts
Rhode Island Firefighters
Rowing Revealed
Royal Oak Calendar
Rude Riders
RugbyGuys
Run for the Cure
Sassy Ladies
Scholes
and Whelley Kidney Foundation
Sheffield Hallan Union Rugby Club
Skepchick
Skilehrerinnen / Skilehrer
Sometimes Life Throws You a
Curve
Soul of the Soil
South of Market Bare Chest
Stable Girls
Stevenson High School
Stewardesses Stripped
Stirling County Rugby
Club
Stirling Services
Stone Nudes
Sweeter Side of Nottingham Road
T.O.S.S.E.R.S.
Tempe12 ASU Bikini Calendar
The Bear Pub of Bilton
Timeless Treasures
Uan: Toothill’s Favourite Son
UDSU Sports Teams
Uncovered
UEA
University of Central Lancashire's women's rugby union
team
Vail UnDressed
Victorian Jockeys' Association
VSA Naked
Calendar
Wightlink Raiders
Women of Purpose
Women's Curling

Half the fun must be in coming up with come hither titles. I vote for "More than you'd expect from an orchestra."

But now we must turn our gaze upon the sweet cheeks of these wonderful New Zealand veterinary students:



Hmmm?

What?

Oh! Right!

The cause célèbre here -- and I don't really care what it is, I am suddenly all for it -- is... let's see... ah, yes! PAW JUSTICE.

Paw Justice is an organization that was formed to help deal with the problems of animal abuse and neglect, which has grown at an alarming rate which is stretching the resources of all animal welfare agencies. We have taken upon ourselves to fight for your animal's rights. We love and appreciate the work that is done by all animal shelters but even they could not forsee the rapid increase in animal abuse within our society.

This is why Paw Justice was created, as we believe that there is no excuse for this shocking behavior.

Paw justice is for YOUR pet, this is YOUR campaign to give YOUR pet a voice.

All we ask is that you sign the Paw Justice petition if you share the same belief that we do - people who hurt, torture or kill animals must be brought to justice! The petition is about making amendments to the Animal Welfare Act, to increase the maximum jail sentence to a five year period and to introduce sensible sentencing for offenders that seriously mistreat our animals, as so many offenders have not paid the price for their crimes against our animals.

This is not just another campaign you decided to join, when you join Paw Justice you belong to the campaign, you become a spokesperson and you are a guardian to your pet with a voice that can make a difference. With your voice you can start to enforce a zero tolerance policy and start applying pressure to government departments that will begin inroads to put an end to animal cruelty. You will be able bring offenders who harm our animals to justice.

YOUR pet brings so much unconditional love and happiness to you and to others in your life, do you think your pet would sign a petition to protect you? When you become part of Paw Justice you are making a conscious decision to become a care giver and guardian, not only for your own pet, but for other pets who are not as fortunate to have you as their owner.

Oh, I do loves me people what see the need for change, and *work* to make it happen!And what a wonderful way to celebrate half-way day -- explained here by our featured Kiwi blogger from Four Paws and Whiskers:

Trainee vet students haven't changed much since I did it... at Massey there are plenty of time honoured traditions to mark the passing of the five years.... in my memory most were associated with eating and drinking, copiously!
The acknowledgement of the half way point now involves a bonding trip away for the third year class... and for a number of years, fundraising for it has involved the production of a nude calendar... quite probably a success because the larger half of the class is now female, compared to the mainly male class when I was there.

So if that bare spot on the kitchen wall is calling out for useful decoration, say, something in a nude calendar, check out their effort here, and support the fight against animal cruelty in New Zealand.

If animals are not your local cause du jour, there is still bound to be a worthy effort out there incorporating some flesh and good humor on behalf of whatever makes your heart go pitterpat, raising money, mood, and awareness, all at the same time.

*NAKED MEN STIR MORAL OUTRAGE

Maple Corner Calendar Fund-raiser not without its detractors. Protest planned.

Calais, Vt. (July 28, 2002) The wildly popular community fund-raiser that raised so much good will in this small Vermont village is now raising the ire of some residents. Organizers of the upcoming 2003 edition have learned of a planned protest by an angry mob in front of the newly renovated Maple Corner Community Center at 6PM Sunday July 28th. "We had no idea that there was so much underlying anger" commented Steve Gallagher, Mr. May 2002 and co-producer for this years effort, adding "I hope the press doesn’t show up, that would ruin everything."

The loosely organized band of grumpy men calling themselves "The Men of Maple Corner for Decency" which made an unscheduled interruption at last winters calendar celebration party, has again planned to bring their bitter message to the people. "Throw the buns out" says Andrew Nemethy veteran mobster, "It’s time to call for a formal dress code in Maple Corner and possibly even a leash law" Nemethy claims that the mob of well dressed whiners will be out in force this Sunday at 6 complete with top hats, pitchforks, and banners for what he calls "The mother of all protest marches."