Sunday, November 28, 2010

here's a clue...

here's a clue:  no matter how peeved you become at not being able to vacuum the entire expanse of the very tall cat condo, when you are in a wheelchair because of the basic unreliability of your legs, and you have been instructed to lift nothing above 5 pounds?

do not gently guide the condo onto the floor so as to put its many levels within reach of suction. 

more importantly, when time for the condo to rise back skyward, do not stand up, do not attempt to resurrect the 75+ pound monument to silliness, especially in a posture that approximates a lopsided clean and jerk virgil grissom elementary school weightlifting team tryout. 

okay, "approximates," most precisely, in the highly technical sub-specialty of clean-and-jerk screaming.  you betcha, screaming like a freaking bean-sidhe was de rigueur in the virgil grissom elementary school training camp.  probably still is!

(oh yeah!  be sure not to travel four or five steps away from the waiting chair!  it would be much better, even best, to be able to sit down, however abruptly or involuntarily, and land somewhere appropriate.

you know, as opposed to the floor.)


  1. Have you read Hilary Mantel's "Diary" after surgery gone wrong, in the _London Review of Books_, 4 November 2010?

    Her brilliantly wickedly funny & raw writing about things like secretions reminds me of this blog.
    "Hospital dramas are small, desperate, self-centred: ‘I had my pill, then I fell over.’ "
    "The poet Jo Shapcott used a nice phrase recently about confessional writing: ‘chasing your own ambulance’, she called it. I am guilty of that. In my defence I can say that I am fascinated by the line between writing and physical survival."

    (Mantel's little novel "Fludd" is one of my favorites, but I cdn't get through her recent Booker prize winning "Wolf's Hall." But then, she never writes the same book twice, which can be a disappointment when you love one of an author's books.)

    Tootle-oo to you and Fred and the Felines!

  2. fresca, dah-link! ever on the ball, i just now saw this comment. no, i've not read mantel... but it sounds right down my alleged alley, so i will put it on the short list. [i am still snorting at "i had my pill, then i fell over." it works equally well backward.] which should i have a go at first -- "diary" or "fludd"? i am on a richard russo kick -- now rereading "empire falls." i like my comedy with a fake nose, glasses and moustaches attached.

    i hope you are well, and happy. [yes, i said it.]

    smooches galore!

  3. d'oh. i just checked out hilary mantel's amazon page. okay, so "diary" is, as you clearly said, in the LRoB...

    and i am adding "a change in climate" and "vacant possession" and am looking forward to them...


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