Friday, March 11, 2011

Who told Carolina that they could play?

from IdiomsByKids
A quick summary of schtuff:

My BP decided to become an issue, after a lifelong stint of being too low, by catapulting itself into the rafters.  200/110 last week, 160/110 yesterday at the MDVIP go-to-guy's office.  This making no sense, we deduced that it is the fault of those nasty eye drops... Combigan. 

Clearly, it wouldn't be exactly wise to trip out on i.v. ketamine on Monday with hypertension, particularly as ketamine causes an initial increase in blood pressure -- as part of its hallucinatory charms. 

So I stopped the drops and will put my head together with the EyeGuy next week... and go-to-guy put me on Bystolic.  He also strong-armed me into purchasing a BP kit.  What was sweet, though, was that he had researched prices and such.  That just adds a certain je-ne-sais-quoi to his character!  WhisperWhisperMurmurMurmur... I think they have that at Walmart for $40... WhisperWhisperMurmurMurmur...

Last night it was still high at 188/93 and I cursed the blood pressure gods.  Today, though, ha!  Ha!  I laugh in the pimply red face of hypertension.  Just now:  126/71.  Ta da!

We flew across hill and dale, took a sharp left at the Lone Alp, and arrived early for my appointment with the General Surgeon yesterday morning.  All well and good, except for the note on the door, dated September 2010, announcing that they'd moved their offices -- moved back to the hill, right behind the dale.

We flew, again, this time mumbling and grumbling under our various breaths.  Hot Stuff that we are, we *still* arrived with five minutes to spare. 

But not a half-hour early, as instructed!  [This is a new pet peeve.  Don't schedule an appointment with me and then, when you call to remind moi, say, "Please arrive a half-hour early..."  No!  Make the appointment for the actual time you actually want me to actually be there.]

He has a great staff, and he, himself, was very personable and able to sell me on getting a portacath put in (installed?)!  I loved his claim that "no one has ever regretted it." So, I am to show up at the hospital next Thursday morning, at an ungodly hour, and he will toss that sucker in me, hitch it up to the subclavian, and voilà!  Instant intravenous access.  For some reason, I have to go through pre-registration at the hospital the day before.  Kind of ridiculous for an itty-bitty procedure of this sort.

Okay, so I am touchy.  It's the same hospital where I was gifted with enough trauma and malpractice, mispractice and other-negative-insinuations, including the very CRPS for which I am now constantly seeking relief.  I was told, back in 2005, that "no one will treat you here, not a doctor, not a nurse, not a pharmacist..." That came out of the mouth of an orthopedic surgeon I had consulted, liked, and with whom I had scheduled a shoulder replacement.   (The right side;  The Sentinel Event was subsequent to the replacement on the left.)  Two days before surgery and someone decided to tell him "who I was."

That's right!  I'm THAT GIRL!

How ludicrous that he would threaten me with the big black ball when it was his colleague's malpractice at the heart of everything.  Talk about misplaced emotion and severely impaired thinking.

So anyway... yeah, I may peer half-blind from my gurney next week and see the same anesthesiologist who screamed at me that he and his department had been discomfited by my complaints about being nearly killed and successfully debilitated by his hospitals' various minions.

I'm thinking I might spit in his general direction.  Or something classy.

So, if you are keeping score:  Monday is Ketamine Day!  Tuesday is Recover from Ketamine Day!  Wednesday is go hang at the hospital and bleed into little tubes day!  Thursday is Put-In-The-Port Day!  And... I think I have a couple of appointments elsewhere... that I prob'ly ought to cancel.  Fred and Ruby, at least, would appreciate that.

Ach.  Oh, and today I am supposed to start another month-long love affair with antibiotics.  But that rx is sitting over at the pharmacy waiting for Fred to pick it up.  And Fred is pooped.  So... I say:  Tomorrow is soon enough. 

I am making Executive Decisions to beat the band.

I am full of hope.

I figure, until proven otherwise, I am a person who is at one with possibility and potential, all coming together at a certain point that can be graphed as Monday Afternoon, when their various forces and energies shall gift me with an orgasmic... CURE. 

Or something.

Maybe the hallucination of a cure?
Maybe a significant reduction in pain?
Maybe not?

Hell, it's a luxurious option just to be able to rest and cavort within Possibility and Potential all weekend.

"On Monday evening, darling, when I am cured, let's try that new Thai restaurant we noticed five years ago!"
"Sweet cheeks?  Tuesday morning, while I enjoy a significant reduction in pain, as established by the Visual Analog Score, I would love to give you an intensely rejuvenating back massage, the way I used to when my hands actually followed instructions from my brain.  Where did I stash that gallon of Patchouli?"
"Yo!  Fredster!  Reserve a court for Wednesday and I'll show you my best cross court volleys... And would you PUH-LEEZE put that damn wheelchair in the freaking attic?"

It is heresy to say, I know, but my excitement rivals -- oh, hell, it outshines by far -- this weekend's ACC tournament.  Who told Carolina that they could play?

[Talk about confusion -- Somehow, my computer keeps sending me to the 2009 ACC Tourney website.  Had me feeling positively daft...] [Also... I am so old school... my brain rejects VATech, BC, and Miami as even being part of the ACC.  I still barely allow for GATech and Florida State...] [Oh, let's be honest!  The only teams that really matter are from the superior northern Carolina, as Clemson, Maryland, South Carolina and Virginia are just meaningless examples of linguistic linguini, mere placeholders.  It's all about Duke, Carolina, N.C.State, and, well... Wake Forest.  Or maybe just Duke, Carolina, and N.C. State.  Errrr, actually, between you and me?  It's all Duke and Carolina.  I mean think about it.  That match up has it all -- public versus private, and a rich history of four corners and three-pointers.]  [Waving to Jim Valvano -- ah, those were the days!  The Cardiac Pack...] [Okay, I'm done now...]

It's Duke and Maryland at 7 tonight, with Florida State and Va Tech to follow.  Virginia, Wake, State, Ga Tech, and Miami are all already out...

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