Monday, November 4, 2013

A cat video featuring pastrami trumps the Talmud

I'm suffering and I'm going to tell you about it.  This helps me.

The "you" to whom I speak is an observant Jew in her late 30s.  Your path has been suitably complex, raised in the traditional laxity of Reform, but then your backup arrived -- a black Baptist gospel choir swaying in a background that only dips and shimmies for moments of Orthodoxy. I don't know your name but your idea to plait your beautiful curly long hair into one humongous woolen braid, worn casually tossed over one shoulder, missed the mark, and is a furry distraction.  The  black sweater, lovely in itself, serves mostly as the perfect matte base for your minor dandruff issues, and you get points for playing up that November has arrived, that leaves are falling, that moods have grimmed us with somber trickery, and so on.

So never mind the hours spent suffering today.  You clearly don't care, Ms. Thang.  The Gemara and the Mishnah, are they more important than the purported primary texts?  Therein lies the answer to everything.

Is it not said, "A cat video featuring pastrami trumps the Talmud, the Babylonian as the Jerusalem, the Rashi as the Rambam"?

© 2013 L. Ryan

No comments:

Post a Comment

The Haddock Corporation's newest dictate: Anonymous comments are no longer allowed. It is easy enough to register and just takes a moment. We look forward to hearing from you non-bots and non-spammers!