hi, i'm in tremendous pain, nearly caving in to the claim of 9.9/10 on the idiot pain scale.
and constantly beginning, relearning my mindfulness lessons. restarting relearning in three, two, one...
here is a portion of an entry by a CaringBridge child's mother about her son, whose prognosis is quite poor but whose attitude is awe-inspiring, but not the over-glucosed, rainbowed cotton-candy kind. he's quite real, which makes that attitude ever more... mindful.
[i "adopt" 4 CaringBridge kids at a time, supposedly. in actuality, i'm at 8 young ones, each a translation by their journal keeper. most journal keepers are the mothers, and most are inspirational, themselves. still, out of respect for the child, i sometimes read through, between, and under the lines to find him or her, and, as you have seen and shortly will again, i read photographs.]
the entry, with identities modified:
The journal picture I've included is of A and his two little brothers, ages 5 and 8. After A finished chemo (before he spiked a fever), he had to make the long walk over to the cardiology clinic in order to get an echo and ekg. Neither one of us wanted to make that walk for exams that were needed to close out the LEE011 study for A. It was just salt in an already open wound. By the time A finished the heart exams, he was feeling awful. I asked him to let me hunt down a wheelchair (he had to go back to the oncology clinic to finish fluids) as his 5 year old brother grabbed his IV pole while his 8 year old brother offered to hold his hand. I don't think I'll ever forget hearing A ask his 8 year old brother, "Hey Bro, can I put my arm around you to help me walk?" A didn't wait for a wheelchair. Instead, he slowly walked from one end of the hospital to the other with the help of two brothers who so tenderly love him.
and here is the photo she used to top her journal entry:
the journal keeper readily admits she's a pessimistic realist with a corrective heavenly guiding hand -- quite a combination, and one that i recognize. i will admit with equal readiness that i would not trade places with her or with A, nor with A's two brothers.
however, she (and i) are working on our attitudes, sometimes with that corrective guidance, sometimes with simple mindfulness -- just sit in it and be -- -- -- -- and so it was that one of the most (personally) beautiful photos i've ever seen was snapped by daisy love merrick's mother, before her last relapse. i bet that was one sassy, swishy walk. when renaming the photo to match my recollection patterns, i chose "daisy walks away in peace." and so she did.
okay, you tough ones. you know who you are. you think you are impervious to my sap, my sappiness. well, friend, gird your loins... because i know for a bona fide fact that daisy love merrick walks this earth, complete with her funky, hippy clothes, and her sassy, swishy walk, and her unique grin (involves the meteoric impact of freckles), as well as her always-remembered mother, father, and sweet brother, and scads of surfing fanatics. but she does not walk alone -- and not with wraith-like holograms of her loved ones -- no! she walks with treebeard, the eldest of the ent species. put that in your sap pipe and smoke it.
hat tip to treebeard: