Revisiting Dr. Reuben's Wild Ride

I had a few free moments in between waterproofing the drawbridge and tucking in some rock-loving plants around the moat edge (This year? Mersea Yellow, Creeping Penstemon and three different varieties of Creeping Phlox), and so I idly checked in on the state of the Scott Reuben, MD -- that's DOCTOR to you -- Affair.

So how did this simply marvelous traditional Belgian cocktail get into my hands?

[Ever solicitous of My Dear Reader, should you wish an orgasm of your own, screaming or otherwise, use equal parts Baileys, Kahlua, and Amaretto -- then double up on the Cointreau -- shake with crushed ice. Some add a few cubes of ice to the glass -- moi? No. To each one's own Screaming Orgasm.]

Ah, well, it is here, so I'll drink it.

Scott. Reuben. He is actually being *defended* in the comment sections of some blogs and news articles. His apologists are sad creatures.

Keep in mind he isn't a person off the street he's a DOCTOR and has many years of service and experience...

There's no need to unpack that ringing endorsement, is there? It's a Teflon Profession, although change is in the air.

It is tragic the lengths medical professionals will go to to continue receiving funding from big pharmaceutical companies. This story demonstrates the corruption in the medical community which stems from pharmaceutical companies having too much influence and political power. Of course it was the unethical practice of Dr. Reuben that is featured in this story, but he is just a symptom of a much larger problem - not that I am excusing his behavior in any way.

The number one cause of Exploding Hemorrhoids? Straddling fences and crotch-flossing. Way too many people -- the majority of them "professionals," some even DOCTORS -- are quick to pull out the Big Pharma Stick and shakeshakeshake it all around. This stick, according to my numerous studies, emits powerful pixie dust that addles the brains of non-DOCTORS, causing them to forget the Natural Laws of Agency -- you know, like: The Man lied to his wife. Who lied to the Little Woman? Not The Man, no, not really. It was The Boss of the Man-who-lied-to-his-wife who encouraged, and funded, with the United States' preferred currencies of dollars and renown, an atmosphere of near-complete moral relativity. The Man really did NOT lie to his wife -- see?

I can just hear Captain Haddock now: Miserable blundering barbequed blisters! Scoffing braggarts! Squawking popinjays!

There is a blog -- Fibromyalgia Haven -- that caught my attention in the long line of Scott Reuben by-products. She makes an insightful comparison between Fibromyalgia Schtuff and Dr. Kellog''s doings, as fictionalized (hardly by much, I'd wager... if only I knew a good bookie) by T.C. Boyle's The Road to Wellville.

In The Road to Wellville, T.C. Boyle shines a bright and comical light on commercialism in the healthcare industry. It is a fact, and it is nothing new. Every time I see a commercial for the new Fibromyalgia wonder drug, Lyrica, I wince. Not because of the drug itself, but because now that Fibromyalgia is becoming an accepted and recognized disorder, it will also become a profitable disorder. More and more drug companies will be coming out with prescription drugs to TREAT Fibromyalgia, but not to CURE Fibromyalgia. Why would they want to find a cure, when the alternative is so much more lucrative?

Where is my Screaming Orgasm? Oh, ah. Okay. I am fed up with people not understanding the basics of the disease process with which they are dealing. {sip, sip, gulp} Surely it is not that difficult to understand the difficulties of treating s.y.n.d.r.o.m.e.s? How hard is it to get that talking about silver bullet cures in such instances is a clear sign of idiocy -- or early onset dementia, if you need a DOCTOR'S note. {slurp}

I wince at those commercials, too. Particularly because there is an apparent need for them to begin with some apparently well-off, late-middle-aged, thin, white woman saying: "My fibromyalgia pain is real." That is just... weird.

Anyway, Fibrohaven, the blog owner, apparently has it in for Big Pharma. Big Pharma is keeping her down on the farm, barefoot, in pain, and pregnant. No, wait. That ain't right. Well, you get my drift.

I believe fibromyalgia, as a collection of symptoms, exists. I do not believe it is a disease, per se.
The syndrome causes such frustration for apparently well-off, late-middle-aged, thin, white women who are kept down on the farm, barefoot, in pain, and pregnant, that The Bogey Man seems to be crouched down in every corner. It's the Baptism by Fire of every Disease du Jour, and will remain that way until science catches up with experience, and the Fucked-Up Ones decide to move on to another poorly treated disorder, leaving behind the true sufferers, who, we will discover, can be found in almost any demographic. God bless them for hanging in.

Fibrohaven is spot on, though, about Money As Prime Mover, as that which drives research. Which, thankfully, brings me back to Scott Reuben.

Dear SparklesLori-the-Deluded. She was one of his patients at the Pain Center at Baystate Medical Center, and she is determined to worship her DOCTORS, because her DOCTORS love and care for her, and they do it gently. Bless her ignorant and needy self.

I do know that new drugs are not passed by FDA without a certain amount of research on so many people. I do know him and he was my Dr. for many years. Those people that know him and had him as Dr. can all say the same thing, you can't find a more gentle, caring, concerned Dr. as Scott Reuben. If all he did was altar names on charts then that's not so bad. Keep in mind the HIPA law.

I cannot remember (thank you, Screaming Orgasm!) who said it -- maybe it was SparklesLori, though I think not -- but someone said that perhaps Reuben's error was not so much the pure invention of research, research protocols, research subjects and clinical trial results -- no way! Rather, he did what he did because he possessed the knowledge of what was right and true, and simply took the shortest route to share His Rectitude with the World of Drugs and Doctoring.

It boggles the mind. Well, that and the Screaming Orgasm.

I haven't had a new thought on the Scott Reuben Affair beyond this: Why is he not under arrest? The comparison with Bernie Madoff -- frequently being made -- is quite appropriate, at least judging by the amount of acid in my stomach. I could not fathom why Mr. Madoff was walking around free. I also cannot fathom why no one even suggests that Dr. Reuben has committed criminal offenses. I keep running into this comment: "They should take his license away!"

That would be a start.